Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Sunday, September 04, 2005

Of helmets and anteaters

Steve Kane
WWNN Radio
Pompano Beach, Florida

Dear Mr. Kane,

I was sorry to learn that you had temporarily resigned from the Broward County School District Diversity Committee. After all, without you, the children of Broward County would have been subjected to recruitment into the homosexual lifestyle by Spongebob Squarepants, Bob the Builder, and that man-hating bulldyke, Dora the Explorer.

I agree with your assertion that the Anti-Defamation League is a homosexual front group. The same is true for their parent organization, the B'nai B'rith. I think circumcision is to blame for this. When the foreskin is removed, the helmet shaped thing is exposed. Nothing stimulates a man's inner-warrior more than the site of a helmet.

You've spent time in locker rooms. You know what I mean. A man can look at anteaters all day long without worry, but whip out a helmet, and all the guys want to touch and caress it. It's the way men were introduced to homosexuality before Nickelodeon.

No doubt many others have made the same connection, but I'm not surprised that a white, conservative red-stater was the first to say it out loud. We're just better at scapegoating Jews and bashing homosexuals than anyone else.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.