His tenor "wang"

Sen. Bill Frist, MD
Majority Leader, United States Senate

Dear Sen. Frist,

Killing the resolution to honor Bruce Springsteen on the 30th anniversary of his album, Born to Run, was an inspired act--one that will certainly galvanize public opinion about the seriousness of your party's leadership--but, unfortunately, it's not enough. You need to twist the knife a little more by honoring one of his more conservative peers.

Just last year, you honored a Republican rocker whose commitment to the Second Amendment, traditional values, and the Iraq Phase of the Eternal Struggle to Resubjugate Brown People is without equal. Of course, I'm referring to the Motor City Madman, Ted Nugent.

His paen to traditional female roles, Wang Dang Sweet Poontang, will have its own 30 year anniversary soon. What better way to put the French-minded Springsteen in his place than by honoring Mr. Nugent and Wang Dang Sweet Poontang. Perhaps you, Sen. McConnell, Sen. Santorum, and Sen. Brownback could do a barbershop quartet version. I can almost hear it now as I write this note, each of you singing a word from the chorus, starting with your tenor "Wang" and ending with Brownbacks deep bass "Poontang."

Do it. You just can't lose with this one. It'll be bigger than Schiavo.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot