Going to CIFA's boss

Stephen A. Cambone
Undersecretary of Defense for Intelligence

Dear Mr. Cambone,

I had hoped that I could resolve the following problem without involving you, but unfortunately, the Counter Intelligence Field Activity (CIFA) has chosen to ignore my correspondence. Now it's time to take my issues up with their boss.

CIFA has been reading my blog, Jesus' General, for at least a year and a half. Although, I don't usually ask readers to compensate me--their kind words, prayers, comments, and patronage are payment enough--CIFA presents a special case. As a part of the Department of Defense, they have all kinds of funding available to spread around to Our Leader's supporters--heck, they gave MZM millions, and from what I can tell, that company does little more than buy houses at super-inflated rates from congressmen.

I didn't ask CIFA for much, just a Zenith P60W26P 60" Plasma Flat-Panel HDTV and a Sony DAV-FX100W Wireless Home Theater Dream System with all of the accessories for each. I even put both items on my Amazon Wish List for CIFA's convenience. Now, it's three weeks later, the TV and sound system are still sitting there unpurchased, and I haven't heard a thing from CIFA.

This is no way to run a war against internal dissent. You certainly won't have many people championing your domestic spying initiatives if you treat all of your supporters like this. George Will has already jumped ship. Have you considered the possibility that Will's defection might have been avoided had someone sent him a Zenith P60W26P 60" Plasma Flat-Panel HDTV and a Sony DAV-FX100W Wireless Home Theater Dream System with all of the accessories for each?

I'm not there yet, but I'm close. CIFA owes me, dammit, and I'm ready to collect.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian