Less painful than a crucifix

Confederate Yankee
Free Republic Poster

Dear Mr. Yankee,

My reaction was similar to yours when I saw what Google returns for the phrase "baby Jesus [probably not work safe]." "Certainly," I thought, "those rotten bastards at Google intentionally designed their algorithms to mock our Lord." But after thinking and praying about it for awhile, I've come to the conclusion that we're seeing God's hand at work here.

Think about it. If Jesus blesses us by appearing on shower doors and grilled cheese sandwiches, why shouldn't He place His visage on a butt plug? And shouldn't we feel blessed that our Savior loves his children so much that he wants to get intimately close to us?

And how many times have you watched someone like Bill O'Reilly defending Our Leader for one of his many non-mistakes, non-lies, or non-criminal acts when suddenly he brings our Lord into the argument? After seeing him do it, haven't you ever thought, "O'Reilly sure pulled Jesus out of his ass for that one." Well, maybe that's exactly what he did.

I don't know about you, but I'm ordering one of these. It certainly looks a lot less painful than my crucifix.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

A tip of the ole helmet to Lambert of Corrente Wire.

Update: I don't think Confederate Yankee truely loves the Confederacy. He removed Earl's comment about his love for his Robert E Lee butt plug, an appliance so good, it made his south rise again.