Four jobs you've had in your life: street preacher**, arm rest assembler for the La-Z-Boy chair company*, silo cleaner for U&I Sugar* (you undermine columns of solid sugar with a pick axe, and then quickly escape through a small hatchway when the column begins to collapse); chicken sexer.
Four movies you could watch over and over: I was a Communist for the FBI, The Fountainhead (The greatest comedy ever), I Married a Communist, The Green Berets.Four places you've lived: Elwood, UT; Tremonton, UT; Deweyville, UT; Garland, UT.
Four TV shows you love to watch: Dragnet, The Englebert Humperdink Show, Hee Haw, Benny Hinn.
Four places you've been on vacation: Wellsville, UT where they unashamedly celebrate the "Battle of the Bear River" on Founders Day; the Box Elder County Jail*; Malad, ID; Manti, UT.
Four websites you visit daily: Escrocs et Menteurs, Lafayette, L'Homme De Calmar, L'ÂneDuCheval
Four of your favorite foods: Frito Pie, Meat, Pork Rinds, Cheetos.
Four places you'd rather be: Wrestling Dick Cheney Spartan-style at a Promisekeepers rally, giving firearms training to Blastocyst-Americans, Double dating with Bill O'Reilly, a speaker phone, and two women we randomly choose by shooting a phone book, standing at a urinal next to Ann Coulter.
I'm passing off to Tristement Non.
*I really did this.
**I was going to put lamb castrater--another job I really had--here, but I couldn't find a link that accurately described how we did it (using our teeth.) It's the fastest, safest, most humane way to castrate a lamb, and the only way to do it if you're castrating hundreds of them in a day. Sometime, I'll have to write about how my uncle made a couple of dirt bikers puke when they stumbled across our operation.
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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.