John Bolton wields a mean jawbone of an ass

Our Republican Father
Who art in Heaven

Dear Mr. Jehovah,

Your servant, Pat Robertson, tells me* that you gave Ariel Sharon a stroke because he wanted to give a few small pieces of land back to the Palestinians. Although, I'm very supportive of this action, I think there's much more you could do to secure Gaza and the West Bank for Israel.

Israel's problem lies with the United Nations. Mr. Sharon probably wouldn't feel like he needed to give back the land if the United Nations had not passed Resolution 242, which requires Israel to leave all of the territories they seized when they righteously attacked the brown people. This resolution serves as the basis for all of the "land for peace" agreements since then.

The United Nations must be destroyed and John Bolton is the man for the job. He wants to do it. He's eager to do it. All he needs is for you to grant him Samson-like powers, and he'll bring the UN building down with his God-given strength. That is unless Samson-like powers are incompatible with really bad toupees. If that's the case, we'll just give him Ronald Reagan's jawbone, and he'll smite all the UN diplomats one by one.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Amen

*via Crooks and Liars