Triumph of the will

There are those who think there’s something unseemly about Our Leader’s almost pathological need to clear brush. I don’t. He’s simply acting on the instincts the Lord provided him. Some of these instincts are shared by all real men; others are birthrights, given only to those whose actions in the War for Heaven earned them the right to be born into an exalted linage.

When Our Leader sees a stand of cedar on his land, he sees a rival, a usurper bent on seizing control of his property. It matters not whether the trees are acting malevolently, or even acting on anything other than their genetic coding. Nor does it matter that the stand is his property as well, because, although it belongs to him, it is exploiting his other property without permission. Such independent action undermines his ultimate sovereignty over all things. The cedar must be destroyed.

So Our Leader assaults the cedar stand, butchering the insolent timber with his terrible chainsaw of vengeance like it is a basic liberty standing in the path of his historical significance. Sap and sawdust fill the air as he imposes his sovereign will onto the dissident foliage until finally there is nothing left but a wild version of yard waste and our smiling leader triumphantly striking a match.