From the files of the State Security Apparatus

Regular readers know that I'm a big fan of the work being done by the crack stormtroopers of the Department of Homeland Security's Federal'naya Sluzhba Okhrani (FPS). They do a bang up job ensuring that my inner Frenchman's can of Copenhagen (hey, he's from rural Utah and it's hard to quit) isn't actually a dirty bomb when he makes one of his frequent visits to the local federal building. But making determinations regarding the volatility of various tobacco products is only a small part of their job. They're out their every day defending us from those who remain burdened by an outdated respect for the Bill of Rights.

The last time we honored the FPS on our pages, we told the story of a disloyal not-man who was arrested by the Okhrana for failing to show her papers while commuting by public bus to her workplace. Unfortunately, traitor-coddling prosecutors dropped all charges against the ungrateful commie in December.

One would think that this act of treachery would harm the morale, and by extension, the effectiveness, of these black-clad stürmtruppen, but recent events suggest otherwise. Take the case of Navy vet Dwight Scarbrough for instance. He ran afoul of the Okhrana when he displayed a seditious sticker on his vehicle while parked at the federal Natural Resource Center in Boise. Of course, he's now whining that his constitutional rights were violated, but thankfully, Our Leader's politikalkommandos don't share his pre-9/11 mindset.

Then there's the case of Laura Berg, a Veteran's Administration nurse who was charged with sedition for publishing a letter which criticized Our Leader. Again, there was whining--this time by the French-minded Bill-of-Rights-worshipers at the ACLU. Hopefully, their cries will be for naught and this seditious nurse will serve as a example to all those who might be tempted to show disrespect for The Chosen One.

So please take a few moments to thank the men and the few not-men of Federal'naya Sluzhba Okhrani the next time they ask you for your papers or require you to swear an oath to Our Leader. Better yet, give them a hand by reporting a neighbor or family member the next time he or she commits a thought crime. I can't think of a better way to thank our Guardians of the Party than that.

Helmet tips to everyone who's written me about the nurse.