Hiding your glowsticks under a bushel

Bryan Mowery
Combat Training Center

Dear Pastor Mowery,

I just recently learned about the good work you're doing with kids there at Combat for Christ. We need more programs like it. It's certainly the only program I'm aware of where a young "Christian Soldier" can receive the weapons training needed to "engage and eliminate [Jesus'] greatest enemies."

That said, I have a couple of concerns. First, you seem to be missing something in your firearms training. Although your web site features photos of kids firing pistols and shotguns, I couldn't find a single picture of one of these junior Christian soldiers executing the Cheney "swing around and shoot the guy behind you" maneuver. That raises a big red flag for me. I can't trust a man who doesn't show proper respect for the Deputy Leader's innovative shooting style.

I also noticed that there is nothing on the web site about your interrogation training. Heck, I wouldn't have known you even offered it if I hadn't read the following in a report from WDEF-TV:

According to Bradley County Sheriff's reports, Community Baptist church Pastor Bryan Mowery spanked the girl with a belt first -- then threw her into a closet, kicked her and hit her in the face with his fist.

Mowery reportedly also got a nine millimeter handgun from his bedroom and fired it outside his Trewitt Road home.

This training sounds almost as good as anything you'd see at Gitmo. Why hide your glowsticks under a bushel? You should be using the interrogation training to market your program. If nothing else, I bet it's your ticket to a little faith-based Department of Defense funding.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot