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Sunday, July 09, 2006

Nedd and Golden Boy

STACLU Director Nedd Kareiva sent the following response to my challenge to wrestle him in the ancient manner of the Spartans:

To: Gen. JC Christian,patriot
Sent: Saturday, July 08, 2006 11:25 PM
Subject: RE: A challenge

Ooh, you're not going to stand for it, huh? Big "Christian" you are. Oh, and in case you don't know this, speaking of wrestling, I used to train with one back in the 1980s and am friends with a retired one here in Chicago's suburbs (ever hear of Golden Boy Paul Christy?). I don't think you want to go that route. I wouldn't if I were you, little boy.

Now if you think you're so big and tough and want to show it, you make the trip to Chicago and either put up or shut up. The address is on the site. Hell, I'll even consider paying part of your airfare if you want to try it. That way we'll see how tough you are.

Idaho doesn't split the difference. Perhaps the Dakotas might. Idaho is your next state over.

If you're not willing to put up, your next message will be your last one as your e-mail address will be blocked and future messages will bounce back to you.

The ball is in your court.


Nedd might have picked up some tips from Golden Boy, but dammit, I have the Lord and Our Leader on my side. I'm not going to allow him to get away, unpunished.

Here's my response.

Nedd Kareiva
Scrabble Champion
Director, Stop the ACLU Coalition

Dear Mr. Kareiva,

Sure, you and Golden Boy may have locked your sweat drenched bodies together within the squared circle, mingling your manly essence as you each struggled to dominate the other. And perhaps you did so naked in the manner of the ancient warriors of Sparta. But tell me, big boy, were you armed with spatulas? Did you spank Golden Boy's exposed fleshy behind with a Terrible Spatula of Retribution? If not, then you know nothing of the ways of a true conservative warrior.

We aren't fooled by you, Jay, Kender, or the rest of the STACLU crew. We know that you're not real patriots. You merely pretend to be conservative in order to discredit those of us who've devoted our lives to fighting for Jesus and George W. Bush. You play act at being morons, desperately hoping to tar the rest of us with a reputation for stupidity.

That's why I'm not going to allow you to take the cowardly way out of this. You are going to feel the sting of my Terrible Spatula of Retribution next Saturday in Ghorley park. That is if you have the balls to show up.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Update: Nedd takes the coward's way out and refuses to defend his honor:

To: Gen. JC Christian,patriot
Sent: Sunday, July 09, 2006 10:24 AM
Subject: RE: A challenge

Hey, at least I offered to pay part of your airfare to Chicago, wuss. You haven't offered me a thing to come to Idaho. Therefore, since you won't put up and accept my offer because you're too damn chicken to take me up on it, I suggest you shut up, Lucifer Wimp, and now you are officially blocked from sending any more messages. You have been blacklisted and future e-mails will bounce back to you, you worthless piece of human debris.

Elsewhere: Nedd calls meatbrain a "peabrain" and a "faggot maggot."

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.