Down, but not out

We may have lost both the House and the Senate without switching a single seat over to the red side of the aisle, but there's still hope. In comes in the form of William J. Jefferson of Louisiana's 2nd congressional district. He didn't get over 50% of the vote on Tuesday. Under Louisiana's election laws, that means he has run in a run-off election.

Although he's a Demoncrat, he subscribes to many of our most cherished Republican values--things like graft and corruption and wasting energy by freezing $90,000 worth of bribe money in a low-efficiency freezer. Heck, he could be one of the GOP's most prized catches if we could convince him to switch parties.

That's why I'm asking you to contribute to his opponent, Karen Carter, who is also a Demoncrat. My hope is that when he sees that he's facing a well-funded opponent, he'll turn to the Republican National Congressional Committee for help. Then we can coerce him into switching parties.

I know many of you are thinking that I must be some kind of genius for hatching this plan. I hope you'll send a note to Our Leader telling him so. I hear he's looking for a new genius.