Bill JohnsonAmerican Decency Association
Dear Mr. Johnson,
I finally shot an email off to McDonalds complaining about their sponsorship of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. I say "finally" because it took me four days to write it. I just couldn't quite get past the part of your sample letter where you wrote:
The women used their bodies to lure and entice while the camera focused in on barely covered crotches and breasts, mostly bare bottoms, and cleavage.
The imagery of that sentence is so vivid, it sent me into a hellish spiral of impure thoughts every time I read it. Heck, I copied and pasted the above quote to this email seven hours ago, and it's taken me this long to expend enough energy liberating spermatazoan-Americans to be able to write this paragraph. I bet I've taken three full mason jars of these tiniest Americans down to the cellar for storage.
That's the hell your sample letter has put me through for the last four days. It's been one unending cycle of reading the sample letter, having impure thoughts, liberating spermatazoan-Americans, and making trips back and forth to Seattle to redeem myself by visiting the man who spanks naughty men for money. If it wasn't for his Terrible Spatula of Redemption, I'd be hellbound for sure.
Please take a few minutes to edit the sample letter so that others do not repeat my experience. Perhaps it could be rewritten to say this: "The ladies flaunted their lady parts in a way that was lustful in nature.
Damn you. Damn you to Hell. That little bit of editing cost me another three hours of spermatazoan-American liberation. My poor little soldier is now rubbed so raw he's bleeding. I doubt he'll ever be the same again--heck it takes ten of Limbaugh's Little Love Pills to get him to stand at attention on my very best days as it is--today's action ain't going to help. I just pray to God that I won't also go blind.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.