I usually write about hideous people on their birthdays. Although my daughter can be a real pain in the ass -- demanding that I change her diapers, prepare her meals, and carry her around as if I were some kind of sedan chair -- she's only a year old as of 5:34 p.m., and I suppose she can only be expected to do so much for herself. I brought Audrey to my final class of the semester this afternoon in recognition of "Bring Your Daughter to Work Day." Also, she contracted rotavirus from one of the disgusting goblins she hangs out with at daycare, so she's suspended for the rest of the week. All this probably made for the lamest birthday ever. Whereas most parents would try to make their kid's first birthday somewhat enjoyable, I made her listen to a lecture on US foreign policy since 1979. She returned the favor by farting about a half dozen times during the lecture.
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