Nezua v. The Arch-Mexican of Canterbury

Dick Nichols
Arch-Mexican of Canterbury

Your Bricano Holiness,

Oh to be in Citidad London on Cinco de Mayo once again. How I miss those wonderful fiestas on the banks of the Thames where the air was heavy with the smell of Grandmother's traditional Jalisco-style spotted dick. How I long to hear the clink of Guinness pints as the men toast our victory at Puebla in 1862 and the day-long recitations of Senor Shakespeare's Sonoran sonnets.

You're a very lucky man, and our people, the Mexican people, are very lucky that you chose to stay behind in the land of our fathers continuing our traditions and speaking out against the socialist Zapata-worshipping revolutionaries who brought down of our beloved Porfirio Díaz and empowered ordinary workers and farmers to have a say in shaping their own destinies. Damn them, damn the narcissistic socialists. Damn their bandannas. Damn their fascistic United Farm Worker eagles. And, most of all, damn their communist-enabling murals. May they all burn in a socialist hell as Díaz's ghost pokes them with his Mighty Sword Of Oligarchy.

Thank you, Your Britcanoness, for putting that evil self-portrait publishing subversive, nezua limón xolagrafik-jonez in his place.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot