WKRN 2 Nashville
cc: Allison Hatcher, Weekday Evening Anchor, WKRN 2 Nashville
Brittney Gilbert, Blogger, WKRN 2 Nashville
Dr. Harry R Jacobson, Vice-Chancellor for Health Affairs, Vanderbilt U.
Dear WKRN 2 News Team,
I really enjoy Brittney's new "Kick The Body Before It's Buried" feature on the WKRN 2's Nashville is Talking blog, and although my inner Frenchman stormed out of the room after reading the inaugural post about his friend, Steve Gilliard, I'm certain it brought a smile to his lips for a moment before he went back to grieving. I bet it did the same for Steve's family and the thousands of others who loved and respected him as well. I mean who wouldn't stop preparing for a funeral for a moment to enjoy such hilarious lines as these:
Which brings us to today’s marquee morbidity. The tragic, untimely death of Donk House Negro and all around bigot Steve Gilliard. Who knew that boiling bacon grease in a spoon and mainlining it into the neck vein was bad for your health?
Now that's the kind of witty humor with which I'm sure WKRN 2 Nashville is proud to be associated. I bet your advertisers are thrilled as well. Who wouldn't want their brand associated with vicious personal attacks against the recently dead? I think I'll send the quote over to Vanderbilt Medical Center and CS Scott Construction Equipment to give them a chuckle.
Now I know your blogger, Brittney, isn't the author of those lines, but she deserves a lot of credit for republishing it without comment and thereby repackaging it as a WKRN 2 Nashville product. That young woman is certainly an asset to your organization. You should consider giving her a spot on the nightly news.
I'm thinking of something along the lines of a short in-studio segment where Brittany and WKRN 2 Nashville Weeknight Anchor Allison Hatcher attack someone from the local black community who passed away that day. I bet your writers would have a lot of fun finding new ways to denigrate black people and the circumstances of their death. You might even get State Sen. Stacey Campfield to join in. I'm sure he'd love it.
Let me know if I can help you in any way--I might be able to find you a good deal on white robes or pointed sticks you can use to poke the bodies. I'd be glad to hook you up.
Heterosexually yours (in a chaste and biblically appropriate kind of way, of course)
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
Update: Apparently, Brittney is just plain fucking stupid. I'm told she posted it to expose the original blogger's hatred. Hopefully, she'll post an apology just as prominently.