Tancredo for Leader
Dear Mrs. Buchanan,
I'm writing to congratulate you for the bang up job you're doing for the Tancredo campaign. I know it's been difficult, especially given his statements about nuking Mecca and Medina, two of the three cities held to be most sacred by the followers of Islamunistfacism (The third is Jerusalem. Why isn't Rep. Tancredo demanding its nuclear annihilation as well. I bet your brother, Pat, is very disappointed).
Many people, including anonymous sources within the State Department (I have a list of the names of 157 crypto-Islamunistofascists who serve at State, BTW), are using words like insane, "reprehensible" and "absolutely crazy" to describe those statements. Rep. Tancredo doesn't deserve that, and thank God he has you to defend him.
You're response that Rep. Tancredo was simply being "open-minded" was sheer genius. By employing one of the character traits for which Rep. Tancredo is most closely identified, his renowned open-mindedness, you effectively shut down all of the critics. It's like the nuclear option of rhetoric.
But more importantly, Rep. Tancredo's threats are scaring the hell out of the brown people's Gods. Take Lord Shiva for instance. He's reacting to the Tancredos remarks in much the same way I react to the thought of a not-man president.
Heterosexually yours in a chaste and biblically acceptable kind of way,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
A helmet tip to Karl at Operation Yellow Elephant.