Send Lawyers, Guns & Money

Image of a child obviously too brown and poor to seek the advice of counsel before being killed

During the Republican Debate held last night in Dearborn, Michigan, Mitt Romney was asked what he would do "...if you were president of the United States, would you need to go to Congress to get authorization to take military action against Iran's nuclear facilities?"

Answered Mitt: "You sit down with your attorneys and (they) tell you what you have to do." Yeah, he went on a bit after that about Iraq and blah, blah, blah, but his first swing was the one that hit it out of the park. You sit down with your attorneys...

Think about it: What did God do right before killing millions of human beings in His great flood? He sat down with His attorneys, and they worked it all out. And you couldn't even smell the corpses for a long, long time because they were under so much water. A greater detail God you will never know, with some of the finest legal representation the Universe has ever been party to. And I do mean party.

Remember: Vote Republican, and don't be poor and brown. You don't have to thank me. Just don't be poor and brown. Poor and white sucks, but it doesn't suck as hard as poor and brown. Don't even think about being poor and black. What are you, a wise guy? Rich and black is okay I guess but it's still not as good as rich and white. And male. That about covers it.

Image via the heretik.

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Special Bonus!

Fun Facts Trivia: Did you know Joseph Smith utilized magical seer stones (and a hat!) to translate the Book of Mormon? This bothers some Christians because most of their magic went airborne about two thousand years ago leaving them with bupkis in the prestidigitation category, and Wild Eyes Smith was enjoying angelic sorcery less than two centuries ago--and right here in the United States! What could be more Christian than that? The closest the Olde School Christians have come to pulling a savior out of a hat since Golgotha has been turning Coors beer into horse piss, but seeing as how it's already horse piss it doesn't really count as magic, does it. Sigh.

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