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Friday, February 15, 2008

Chavez hates your comments because they are free

Sister Toldjah
Intellectual Giant

Dear Sister Toldjah,

I've always been a huge fan of your work. Each post you write serves as a testament to your unique intellectual abilities. Indeed, I'd go so far as to say that your keen analytical abilities rival even those of Adam Yoshida in his heyday.

Yesterday's valentine to the courageous GOP congressmen who walked out on the Tom Lantos memorial service was no exception. It was a pleasure to see your mind at work as you proclaimed that the Democrats had forced the Republicans to desecrate that sacred gathering. That's the kind of astute reasoning that's earned you your place as the poet-laureate of the tractor pull circuit.

Unfortunately, praise is not my main intent in writing this email. I'm here to alert you that the security of your blog has been compromised. I don't know if you saw it, but I responded to Leslie's comment to the post I mentioned above. In her comment, she noted that the defeat of the FISA extension was evidence that this "country is turning into a banana republic." I responded by writing:

Yes Leslie. We are becoming a banana republic. The defeat of the FISA extension burdens the Justice Department with the heavy yoke of the Bill of Rights. What's next? Are we going to witness the travesty of a restoration of habeas corpus?

I then hit the "say it!" button (which felt very hip and empowering) and saw that my comment had been posted. I refreshed the page again about twenty minutes later to see if anyone had responded. To my surprise, my comment was gone.

I know you wouldn't remove it, so obviously, Hugo Chavez must have hacked into your site and deleted it. Why Hugo Chavez? Well, who has a better reason? He hates your comments because they are free.

Heterosexually yours in a chaste and biblically appropriate kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

And speaking of Adam Yoshida...

Here are a few of his greatest hits:

My life’s goal is to see the Democratic Party virtually obliterated and left as a rump of people like Stephanie Herseth who both mostly agree with us anyways and are easy on the eyes.

That’s the future of the Democratic Party: providing Republicans with a number of cute (but not that bright) comfort women.

I have often been asked to outline by vision for the American future. By now regular readers will be aware of the broad outlines of the solution that I advocate to the present problems of the nation but, perhaps, not of the ultimate goal. What do I envision for the nation, a century hence?


Naturally, many of those known to be living off of the taxpayers were prone to be challenged in duels. Dueling, a practice almost forgotten, was reintroduced in the third decade of the 21st Century, initially in inner-cities.


Modern duels were typically fought with swords or single-shot black power pistols. One could be challenged to a duel for any reason- and could refuse a challenge. However, a general prejudice had developed that any man who refused a duel was a probable homosexual and, therefore, refusals were generally rare...

Criminal punishments were generally swift and harsh. Petty criminals, especially young offenders, were often penalized by a public lashing. The method of execution prescribed by law in nearly every state (and by the Federal Government) was public hanging. This came about as a result of a popular view that, while the state had the right to execute people, the people ought to understand the terrible power wielded by the state. Despite (or, perhaps, because of) this, executions of murderers were extremely common- as were those of serial child molesters and rapists.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.