Dino to Fight Enviromunistofascism

Dino Rossi
Candidate for Governor
Washington State

Dear Mr. Rossi,

I just saw the latest BIAW (Building Industry Association of Washington) newsletter and your photos are all over it. Do you share an office? It looks like you must spend a lot of time with them.

Congratulations on getting their endorsement. They are by far the most powerful and effective conservative lobbying group in the state. Their dollars and networks will certainly prove very valuable to you as the campaign heats up.

Of course, industry lobbyists don't make that kind of full court press endorsement unless they are certain you fully support their issues, and for the BIAW, there is only one issue that matters: environmental regulation. You better devote a major portion of your stump speech to addressing that concern if you want to keep them interested in your campaign.

Luckily for you, it's all right there in the BIAW newsletter. All you need to do is follow their lead by calling environmentalists, "terrorists" and "fascists" and branding regulators as being "communists." To add a little more meat to the speech, you might also consider adding BIAW stormwater field representative Mark Musser's claim that Hitler was the father of the environmental movement:

The German Nazi party expressed many of the ecological refrains we hear today. Nazis were the vanguard of conservationism—they sought to remedy the increasing alienation of people from the natural world, deforestation, urban sprawl, the destruction of ecosystem balance, the extinction of species and the indiscriminate slaughter of animals. Hitler himself was a sometime vegetarian and an animal lover, and the Nazi government implemented some of the first laws protecting animal rights... They investigated sustainable forestry and institutionalized organic farming to advance experimental homeopathic cures and medicines. Nazi bioengineers were also very concerned about construction maintaining harmony with the natural landscape—the autobahn freeway in Germany was designed by Nazis with the utmost ecological care in mind and presented as a way to bring Germans closer to nature. The Nazis also came up with far reaching land use restrictions and centralized environmental planning for the same purposes, and were very zealous about protecting wetlands and other ecological sensitive areas. Thus green building and smart growth ideas are not something new.

The important thing is to keep parroting the BIAW's main theme, environmentalism=enviromunistofascism, like BIAW President Brad Spears does here:

"The older folks in the mainstream enviro groups silently applaud this new and novel approach: If you build it, we will burn it. It's the next natural step in the environmental movement."

And as Musser so eloquently writes:

Builders in Washington State are being squeezed by an environmental movement which extols ecofascism on the one hand (where the most important thing on the construction jobsite is not a house but “Earth First”), while on the other hand they are micromanaged to death by an ecological bureaucracy that would make any Soviet commissar green with envy. This communistic ecological micromanagement is perfectly exemplified in DOE’s [Washington Department of Ecology] breathtakingly detailed, 976-page stormwater manual and BMPs [best management practices]. So, much like Stalin and Hitler were divided on how to best go about their socialistic schemes, Environmentalists are also divided over how to best go about their socialistic scheme of controlling human development—either by burning houses down with Molotov cocktails, or slowly squeezing the life out of it through extensive, Sovietesque micromanagement. Homebuilders are thus caught between militant ecofascism and communistic bureaucracy.

So there you go. That's the rhetoric that will get you elected. Then I'm sure the BIAW will have plenty of suggestions for how you should deal with the enviromunistofascists.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot