Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Monday, December 08, 2008

Dangerous Legs

Greg Schwarber
Chief of Police
Middletown, OH

Dear Chief Schwarber,

I'm a little concerned about the lethal force policy you've instituted at your department. Specifically, I wonder if your shoot/don't shoot rules are adequate. For example, was it necessary to draw on and shoot your own leg a few days ago? Couldn't you and your daughter have apprehended it without resorting to lethal force? Wouldn't it have been better to have tased it first? That usually makes my leg comply (although I admit I use a field expedient taser I fashioned out of two fishooks and an extension cord).

But then again, I may not know the whole story. Were you wearing black pants?

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.