Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "")

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Secret Islamic Messages on Driftglass and Rumproast Blogs

nicedeb's blog

Dear nicedeb,

It's hard to believe you and The Anchoress are losing (you, very badly) in the Weblog Awards voting. After all, your 52 part series exposing the use of Islamic symbols in the Flight 93 Monument and your hard hitting investigative report into children's dolls that make Islamic
statements are examples of some of the finest blogging I've ever seen.

The same goes for The Anchoress's efforts to establish an American theocracy and end the senseless slaughter of billions of Spermatazoan-Americans and Ova-Americans by encouraging policies that will finally rid our nation of "the no-accountability Orgasm."

In an effort to try to understand why someone would choose to vote for such vile libislamunistosatanofascist organs, I surfed over to Rumproast and Driftglass to check them out. At first glance, they seemed to be very well-written satanic screeds, but certainly too evil to be trouncing you so badly.

Then, I noticed my computer fan sounded a little different. I put a microphone next to it and recorded the sound. After processing the recording, I discovered something that sent a chill down my spine: Driftglass and Rumproast are using readers' computer fans to send secret Islamic messages--they are trying to Muslimfy us.

I've placed the recording on Youtube. You can listen to it in the video below; however, it's very difficult to hear in places, so I'm providing a transcript:
Islam is the light.

Fluoridate your water.

Vote for Rumproast.

nicedeb smells of elderberries.

French fries taste better than freedom fries.

Toby Keith has poor hygiene.

Sarah Palin's mother must have dropped a lot of acid.

Guns, big pickups, SUVs, and voting Republican will not make your penis grow any larger.

Islam is bigger than Daryl Worley.

Bill O'Reilly has a limp falafel.

OMG, there are Muslims under your bed. They will give you the Islam while you sleep.

My penis grew an inch after I voted for Driftglass [Yes, I know it sounds like "Rumproast," but trust me, it says "vote for Driftglass."
So there you have it. Mystery solved.

Heterosexually yours in a chaste and biblically appropriate kind of way (I just don't want anyone to think I'm The Gay. That's very, very important to me. I'm as straight as Sen. Lindsey Graham, dammit),

Gen, JC Christian, patriot

No comments:

Post a Comment

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.