Rep. Randy Forbes
US House of Representatives
Dear Rep. Forbes,
It's comforting to know that in these times of economic bleakness, there are Congressmen like you working on what's really important: passing a resolution declaring the Bible to be the word of God. It's about time we finally did this. We could have avoided a lot of problems (i.e. the War of Northern Aggression, integration, water fluoridation, the pill, etc) had we done so sooner.
I'm particularly glad you're doing it as part of the resolution to put a Bible on display in the Congressional Visitors Center. It provides us with a fixed place to sort real Americans from technically legal Americans. No Hindu, Buddhist, Jew or atheist could view such a display without wondering if they were indeed a part of our society.
But is such "wondering" enough? Shouldn't we make them feel their outsider status more concretely? I think so, and I have an idea on how to accomplish it. Why not add a human-looking robot to the display and program it to detect possible non-Christians and kick them hard in the balls. I'm thinking an animatronic Chuck Norris would be perfect. After all, he's considering a campaign to be president of Texas--what's more American than that?
Think about it. What stronger message could we send that someone is an outsider than to kick him or her in the balls.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
p.s. Yes, I said "her." I know it's popular in the secular world to say women don't have testicles, but that's just another example of liberal sexism. I mean, I've never seen anyone provide evidence that women are balless (how the heck do you spell that, anyway, ball-less? See, there's not even a decent way to spell such a concept). No one I know has even really looked down there to see. And as the Bible says, God made us in his image...period.