Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "gen.jc.christian@gmail.com.")
Thanks!

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Building A Truly Faith-Based Society

Lou Engle
International House of Prayer (IHOP)
The Call

Dear Pastor Engle,

I've been thinking all day about Gov. Huckabee's speech to the Rediscovering God in America Conference. He's right. If it hadn't been for the prayer assaults thrown by your organization, Prop 8 would not have passed. It truly was a victory for prayer.

And that got me to thinking that we are not relying enough on faith and prayer to do our nation's heavy lifting. I mean, hey, we have the most awesome power in the universe and we're limiting it's use to maintaining love segregation in a single state. There's something very wrong and wasteful about that, especially considering the problems our nation faces today.

Think about all the money that could be saved if we cut military funding by say 75% and instituted a draft for young Christian men to serve 2 year stints in a prayer corps. Seriously, can you imagine the power of 10,000 prayer warriors asking the Lord to smite Osama bin Sadam? He'd be dead tomorrow.

And that's not the only work we could give them. They could replace the Weather Service by praying that the good Christian states be spared drought, tornadoes, and hurricanes.

FEMA too. You know all the hurricanes are going to move up to those the gay states in New England, anyway. They won't bother us in the real America. So why keep FEMA?

And then there's Israel. We're giving them billions of dollars a year for what? That's God's land. There's going to be Armageddon there whether we pay them or not. It's God's will; nothing we do will change that, so why bother. I mean, wouldn't it be a better demonstration of our faith if we let Israel fend completely for itself?

I've just barely touched on the prayer and faith opportunities here, but you can see it's going to save us trillions of dollars. What do we do with that savings?

Well, of course, most of it should go to those who can invest it the most wisely--you know, the wealthiest 1%: people like Paris Hilton and that CEO from Countrywide. But we should also consider spending some of it on our spiritual infrastructure.

I think it's time to go from the mega-church to the stadium church. Think about it. Close your eyes and visualize 50,000 people wearing rainbow wigs and holding John 3:16 signs. It'd be great. And we can afford to put retractable roofs on all of them so they're comfy in the Winter, yet available for Our Lord Jesus to descend into when he's available.

Isn't that a better use of our tax dollars than health care or education? I think so.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

9 comments:

  1. Vith ouwah supah-weapon vee vill dominate ze verld!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Praying to deny civil rights is so awesome, but the karmic payback is swift: tonight, the great serpent that repeatedly escapes from the gates of hell will slither its way into our world and find a victim, squeezing the chest of a preacher until he turns blue in the face--an awesome shade of blue. Shoot, it's all awesome! Prayer, bigotry, fear, magic: it's shoot the goddamn lights out awesome!

    ++++

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wiley Drake, the Southern Baptist Convention’s former second vice president, is one of God's most active prayer warriors.

    ReplyDelete
  4. No need for retractable roofs. Pray for a warm spell.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hear hear! Just the other day I was asking why we needed all these programmers on the payroll, when we have full access to faith-based technology. When it comes to software function, I fully advocate the Microsoft approach - trust in God and the power of the free market. It will work if God wants it to work, and if He doesn't, there is nothing we can do to make it work, as He's God.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Prey warriors. There's no stopping us now.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Spiritual warriors pray away the fray! Why slay or flay when you can pray?

    They are all gay.

    ReplyDelete
  8. X, he's not related to Wile E Coyote, by any chance?

    ReplyDelete
  9. I find it tops that if you do God's bidding, bend to God's will and pray hard enough, God will do your bidding and bend the universe for all your petty gripes.

    ReplyDelete

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.