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Sunday, August 02, 2009

Orson and Jeannette Find Clear Creak

Lots of doins reported in my hometown paper, The Tremonton Leader.

PROMONTORY POINTERS
Winnie Richman
Leader Correspondent

Orson and Jeannette Poulsen drove out to Clear Creek on a reconnaissance mission to see exactly where it was. On Saturday they went to Ogden to the wedding of one of Jeannette’s co-workers.

On Wednesday June Butcher took Kaye Draper to lunch at the Village Inn since Kaye took her to her doctor’s appointment that morning. On Saturday evening Kaye attended her ward party at the Library Park. Her food assignment was rolls.

On Wednesday, Winnie Richman finished her 9x16 canvas at oil painting class. The picture is one of Winnie’s few works that is not a copy of another picture.

On Thursday, Clynn Richman had a cancerous growth removed by Dr. Young at Rocky Mountain Dermatology. “Thank you, Dr. Young,” Clynn says.

On Saturday, Clynn baled hay for Doris Larsen. He and Winnie are very glad to report the baler functioned much better than last year.

On Sunday, after church, while Winnie had a nap, Clynn fixed lunch as a surprise for her before chores and a quiet evening together.

8 comments:

  1. But this part really brought tears to my eyes. Ok, it brought tears to the eyes of my inner frenchwoman.

    But still.

    http://www.tremontonleader.com/?p=1629

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  2. I like that Clynn fixed lunch for Winnie. It's sweet.

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  3. PROMONTORY POINTERS: Special Paranoid Edition

    Orson and Jeannette Poulsen drove out to Clear Creek on a reconnaissance mission to see exactly where it was, their guts telling them it had moved somehow, that it was different, a shape-shifting demon town that was toxic and dangerous. On Saturday they went to Ogden to the wedding of one of Jeannette’s co-workers--Orson and Jeannette both agreed something fishy was going on, something sinister and corrupt. But what?

    On Wednesday June Butcher took Kaye Draper to lunch at the Village Inn since Kaye took her to her doctor’s appointment that morning (people like this always have an alibi, too neat by half). On Saturday evening Kaye attended her ward party at the Library Park, a coincidence laden with import: the chain of events was there for all to see. First came the doctor appointment, held behind suspiciously closed doors, with plenty of opportunity to implant tracking devices into Jane's blood stream. Next came a visit to the subversive Library Park, a notorious reading quadrant. What followed for our little Mata Hari Kaye? Her food assignment was rolls. Rolls! As if!

    On Wednesday, Winnie Richman finished her 9x16 canvas at oil painting class. The picture is one of Winnie’s few works that is not a copy of another picture. Winnie is a fraud and doesn't care who knows it--she is a criminal in thought, action and intent, and may be a triple agent for Lord knows who. Watch her and take notes! Report back to me!

    On Thursday, Clynn Richman had a cancerous growth removed by Dr. Young at Rocky Mountain Dermatology. “Thank you, Dr. Young,” Clynn says. "Cancerous growth" my Aunt Fanny. I'll wager ten bucks he was a transgender clone pregnant with a hybrid mule-buffalo-duck. Heck, make it twenty. Yeah, "thank you Dr. Young..." The whole north county is going on a genetic bender and he's responsible! Christ on a sedative, but this has got to stop!

    On Saturday, Clynn baled hay for Doris Larsen (that's what they claim). He and Winnie are very glad to report the baler functioned much better than last year. This sex ring should be stopped in its tracks--next thing you know they'll be greasing each other up like pigs and slurping their danglers during the tractor pulls. If we don't nip this stuff in the bud they're gonna infect everybody!

    On Sunday, after church, while Winnie had a nap, Clynn fixed lunch as a surprise for her before chores and a quiet evening together. Yeah, right. Was lunch broken? No? Well then, how do you fix it if it ain't broken? They just make shit up and we all snore on the porch like nose queens. Keep an eye on these people or pay the price! You heard it here first.

    ++++

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  4. Mr. mjs, Sir:

    I really hate that you turned was a really nice little neighborhood report into a tawdry "tell all kiss and tell and slurp and shtup and implant weird shit into folks" thing.

    But what really dills my pickle is that you did it better and faster than what I was working on!

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  5. democommie: the next Trementon article-enhancer is yours. I was going to do a pharmaceutical theme but had to stop when I began to see way too many colors.

    ++++

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  6. Amazing! I'd forgotten all about Winnie and Clynn ever since the online Box Elder News Journal went paid subscription. (It looks like it's free once again). What have I missed? Are they still square dancing? Piano recitals? Is Peach City still open?

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  7. Thank you SO MUCH for this post. I loved it. Thank you for having the courage to be real......

    ___________________
    Rozy
    Payday loans Today

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.