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Monday, September 21, 2009

Retraction: I was not raptured.

I'm sorry to report that I was mistaken when I reported that I had been raptured. I shouldn't have taken a sip of that Frosty™ Glenn Beck left behind at Wendy's. The colors were incredible, but it affected my journalistic abilities.

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6 comments:

  1. "We" thought you were reporting from heaven..."we" also were looking forward to Obamacare during the tribulation. *sigh*

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  2. Glenn Back's Frosty™, eh? With extra "ice" perhaps? No wonder you were seeing such perversion! Somebody should get that man some coke (not the trademarked kind). Because he's not excitable enough already, dammit!

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  3. General Sir,

    You will always be raptured to me, Sir.

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  4. Raptured? I thought you said ruptured!

    Thanks, I'm here all week.

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  5. General, Sir:

    That would explain all of those pissed off GOPers complaining that their rides had been stolen.

    ReplyDelete
  6. General Sir,

    Glenn Beck's Frosty(tm) was "left behind(tm)" because *he* was raptured(tm). The Frosty(tm) was condemned to Tribulation(tm)for tempting Beck with it's come-hither slutty-cold chocolatyness. Beck was seduced by Frosty(tm)and resisted. Personally, I believe the Frosty(tm) soon picked up Beck's no-interior-door-handles-in-his-car vibe, and possibly came to fear for it's life, and thus, subsequently came to spurn him. It wasn't Beck's fault. You, however, For your weakness in the face of a dewy, waxy paper cup, softening under the spell of simulated flavor-of-jungle-nut and HFCS, must spend the 7 years Tribulation(tm) with the traumatized Frosty(tm), until Christ returns.

    Your Obt. Svt.

    ReplyDelete

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.