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Monday, September 21, 2009

Retraction: I was not raptured.

I'm sorry to report that I was mistaken when I reported that I had been raptured. I shouldn't have taken a sip of that Frosty™ Glenn Beck left behind at Wendy's. The colors were incredible, but it affected my journalistic abilities.

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  1. Anonymous5:42 PM

    "We" thought you were reporting from heaven..."we" also were looking forward to Obamacare during the tribulation. *sigh*

  2. Glenn Back's Frosty™, eh? With extra "ice" perhaps? No wonder you were seeing such perversion! Somebody should get that man some coke (not the trademarked kind). Because he's not excitable enough already, dammit!

  3. General Sir,

    You will always be raptured to me, Sir.

  4. Raptured? I thought you said ruptured!

    Thanks, I'm here all week.

  5. General, Sir:

    That would explain all of those pissed off GOPers complaining that their rides had been stolen.

  6. Anonymous4:08 AM

    General Sir,

    Glenn Beck's Frosty(tm) was "left behind(tm)" because *he* was raptured(tm). The Frosty(tm) was condemned to Tribulation(tm)for tempting Beck with it's come-hither slutty-cold chocolatyness. Beck was seduced by Frosty(tm)and resisted. Personally, I believe the Frosty(tm) soon picked up Beck's no-interior-door-handles-in-his-car vibe, and possibly came to fear for it's life, and thus, subsequently came to spurn him. It wasn't Beck's fault. You, however, For your weakness in the face of a dewy, waxy paper cup, softening under the spell of simulated flavor-of-jungle-nut and HFCS, must spend the 7 years Tribulation(tm) with the traumatized Frosty(tm), until Christ returns.

    Your Obt. Svt.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.