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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Sad, Sorry Plight of the White Christian Merakin

Michelle Flynn
Laura H. Carnell Elementary School

Dear Mrs. Flynn,

I fondly remember the ten years I spent in elementary school. We respected our teachers back then. We loved them with all the love we could gather within our little hearts. A kind word from a teacher made our world a happy, joyous place.

Our love and respect made us loyal to our teachers. It's why we all took Mrs. Nelson's side when she slugged Mrs. Goldman after she complained about making her son pray. Mrs. Nelson deserved our love. She taught us to sing, "Up with People" so we wouldn't fall prey to the enticements of hippies. But more than that, she deserved our love because she was our teacher.

It's sad you don't get the same respect and love from your students. That's what the Pennsylvania Human Rights Commission Decision On The Valley School Swimming Pool Discrimination Case seems to say. By now you've read it. It was the investigation into why black kids were banned from your club's swimming pool.

When investigators asked the black kids who had said, "Why are there black kids here? I am afraid they will do something to my kids , and they might steal some of my stuff," one child responded, "It was teacher; it was Mrs. Flynn."

I wonder how that child felt when his teacher told him he was too black to join her family in the pool. I hope he was feeling disloyalty. I imagine you were devastated by it. It's hard for me to understand how the innocent love a child has for his teacher could be subverted in such a way.

Now, of course, you'll be called a racist.

White people can't get a break these days. If you say "Obama hates white culture," or you throw a fit because black kids are in your pool, everyone will start calling you a racist.

You're going to have to be very careful at school. You can't make the black kids sit at the back of the room. You can't ignore them when they need help. You can't make cracks about nappy hair. You'll have to pretend to treat them equally. You might even have to hug one of them.

That's the America we live in today.

Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblically appropriate, and bleached pool kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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  1. I am horrified after reading the itinerary of this "Up With People" Singyterrorfascist group. They've been at places like the Watts riots, the Boston Keepblackpeopleoutofourschools protests for liberty, Belfast Ireland during the anti-Papist troubles and the Super Bowl?!? These people go wherever there's been violence! Somebody please make them stop!!!

    (And I'm not even going to get into the singing...)

  2. Anonymous1:42 AM

    General Sir,

    "Up With People" is Obama! Obama is "Up With People"! A motion is on the floor to de-fund "Up With People".

    Your Obt. Svt.

  3. The General is always bragging about how he spent only 10 years in grade school. I wonder how many times he got "skipped".

  4. The General does not skip. The General galumphs.


  5. I had an indignant uncle who wore galoshes and he harumphed a lot. MJS just reminded me of that. I mean his word choice did. I have no idea what MJS looks like, so I can't tell if he resembles my late uncle. I certainly hope not. For MJS's sake, that is.

  6. General, Sir:

    When was that recording of "UWP" made? Suffering CHRIST in a leather bustier! That young feller singing has no fucking idea what "phrasing" even means. Send him some Sinatra tracks, STAT!

    Sir, if they put enough bleach in the pool it will solve ALL of their problems.

  7. Do ya mean bleach in the gene pool?

  8. everyone cover your eyes.
    teh general, bukko, and demo
    are planning another chlorine attack!

  9. That video clip made me smile out loud


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.