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Friday, October 02, 2009

The Opinuary Column

The Opinion "There aren't enough hours in the day" has died. Researchers at the Institute For Checking Out Generic Yet Facile Assertions have determined that there are exactly enough hours in any given day (24), no more and no less. This also applies to days in a month, months in a year and years in an aeon. There still aren't enough nanoseconds in a New York Minute, but that is exactly how it should be, and woe unto any fool who seeks otherwise.

The Opinion is survived by the tick-tick-tock of the stately clock as it stands against the wall. In lieu of flowers the family of the late Opinion asks that you listen carefully to the beat-beat-beat of your tom-tom, so that the rhythm of life be your rhythm too, day and night, night and day.


The Opinuary Column appears Friday afternoons at Jesus' General.



  1. but, just enough days in ours

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  3. Hey! Who let the Brownospanishlingofascist in?

  4. On a serious note, mjs, I disagree with your assertion that there are only 24 hours in a day. That might be true in a standard, GOVERNMENT-CONTROLLED day, where unelected bureaucrats impose a mandatory number of hours on us, rationing them like a death panel for clock-ticks.

    What we need is a free-enterprise system for time! If private enterprise was running the clocks, in exchange for an incentivised management fee, they could make time run faster and more efficiently! A "minute" could be re-defined to be 58 seconds, perhaps even 57 after a suitable phase-in period.

    Certain non-productive hours could be made redundant, such as the time from 3:37 a.m. to 4:07 a.m. Face it, what productive activity has ever taken place then?

    Every day would be like the start of Daylight Savings Time! That period could be moved to the "lunch hour" for those workers still fortunate enough to have a job, and their normal lunch break eliminated so they could continue to work (uncompensated) for their employer!

    These are just a few of the many creative ideas possible with a Final Free-Enterprise Solution to the Iimeish Problem. I can give you more, at a cost of just US $1 per idea. In no time, we could have 25 hours in every day, maybe even more!

  5. Mr. mjs, Sir:

    Here I was, marching to the beat of a different drum and had no time left for you; but time has come today and it's the time of the season.

  6. Bukko:

    I sense a sci-fi tale of corporate malfeasance. I'm sure, with a little effort, it will become a documentary.


    What a difference a day makes! 24 little hours! Heh!


  7. Whoa, Bukko! You’re veering off into Thomas Pynchon territory there.

  8. No, mate -- we've got to pinch OFF a second here and there; re-purpose it to where it can be more profitable, have some creative destruction of unproductive time. It's the American way!


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.