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Friday, November 27, 2009

The Opinuary Column



The Opinion "It's morning in America" has died from complications due to the time now being late afternoon--the days grow shorter and shorter until light itself is but a fleeting visitor. The banks have the citizenry by the balls, the military industrial complex is in full career, health insurance companies buy and sell politicians for fun and profit while human beings are denied health care primarily because they need health care. If this is the afterglow of Morning in America I daresay it must have been one hell of a bomb.

In lieu of flowers the family of the deceased Opinion asks that the general public provide ever increasing amounts of money and power, to be handed over to them in all due haste (and without protest) and please keep the goodies coming if you know what's good for you, lest something truly awful comes along and beats you down into a hole so deep you won't be able to crawl out of it, which can be arranged, capiche? Nobody wants that, because that would mean we're Mourning in America...and it could make the children cry. And we don't want to make the young ones cry, do we? I thought so.

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The Opinuary Column appears each and every Friday at Jesus' General.

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9 comments:

  1. Of course, we should keep in mind that when St. Ronnie the Fornicatin' Californian proclaimed it was 'Morning in America' he was suffering from some kind of memory lapse thing that I just can't recall the name of right now.

    I have no doubt he thought it was always Morning in America (M.I.A.) because Mommie, former Hellcat-of-the-Navy Nancy Davis, her father Loyal and Mike Deaver told him so.

    Good conservatives back then emulated Dutch's M.I.A. economic plan by running up credit card debt while steadily reducing income, eventually waving aloha to their worthless middle-management jobs entirely as they became the burden of some low-paid Asian worker. It worked so well that I now have my Serta Perfect Sleeper in the back of my Dodge Grand Caravan, my worries over paying the mortgage and heating bills a thing of the past.

    But it does leave the question: How do you tell Morning in America from the Dark Ages?

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  2. In my silly altruistic way, I'd really like to see America work, to rise above the tyranny of the old ways.

    Unfortunately that will require some serious social upheaval, and even the best President you could hope for could only allude to such evolution.

    Your government certainly wont (can't) do it for you. And neither can the judges.

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  3. "Capiche" is a deprecated spelling of "capisce". Thank you for your attention to this essential matter.

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  4. I blame Ronald Reagan. Then again, I blame him for nearly everything that I can't blame on G.W. Bush.

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  5. Joe Visionary:

    You and I have disagreed, generally in a respectful manner about the U.S. constitution and some other things.

    Don't take my word for it, but I think you nor I want to see violent revolution in this country. We worry about what might happen if Pakistan's government was overthrown and the muslimkrazees got their hands on some small number of nuclear weapons. What do you suppose might happen if 10 million fundies in this country decided that nuclear immolation was the only thing that would save us all from the Pit?

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  6. Demo,

    In the end, I don't care how America gets better, I'd just like to see it do so. Knowing what I do about how things work, the slow, grassroots movement is the only thing I trust.

    There are no magic pills. Any one of you could start this now. Yes, it is a laughably huge job, but hey, there's nothing good on tv anyway...

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  7. I think you're missing my point, Joe. If it is a violent revolution, it will be exceedingly ugly. We have all started the slow, grassroots movement, a long time ago.

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  8. I said "Ronald Reagan" three times in front of a mirror last night, immediately after which I spit up some broccoli. Discuss.

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  9. The 'broccoli' was named George H. W. Bush, I have no doubt.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.