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Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Erick Erickson, Red State, Glass House

RedState.com's Erick Erickson is the kind of guy who's always a hit with the not-men. Squat and pink in stature and complexion, he's like a big valentine body pillow, the kind a good white Christian woman loves to collapse against after serving her menfolk all day long. And his face, what not-man couldn't love that, a thin white balloon stretched taut over a strawberry Jello and cottage cheese salad. He's the food of my people, incarnate.

But that's not the only reason the ladies love him. They dig his outspoken manner as well. He's not afraid to speak the conservative truth. He's not afraid to say that libosocialist women are "too ugly to get a date" and that "ugly feminists [should] return to their kitchens."

No wonder he's become a CNN mainstay.

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18 comments:

  1. Christ. He's the reddist dude on the PLANET. Red hair, red skin, red ass, red pubes, red, red, RED!

    It hurts my eyes just looking at him.

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  2. Hard to argue with his logic as it's difficult to reason with a fencepost. The hue of his complexion may be a result of all that hate.

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  3. He might be redstate in the face, but if you look at the guy with the repetitive names closely, you'll see that he's the living embodiment of the Pillsbury Doughboy. Not only is he whiter-than-white in his soul, but he's squeezeably doughy! No wonder wimmenfolk love him. They want to give that soft tummy a tickle so they can see what pops up all poppin' fresh...

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  4. Enormous blood cells, lightly blanched, are people too!

    p.s. He looks like he eats quite a bit, so he probably would feel more secure if somebody was in the kitchen cooking for him. A lot. Like, constantly.

    ++++

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  5. That face just screams "twatwaffle."

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  6. Don’t understand what he meant when he said the Tebow anti-choice ad “destroyed the credibility of” pro-choice groups. Why, because the ad itself implicitly supports the pro-choice position, because his mom, like, had a choice?

    And another thing. I certainly understand why people were upset about the ad itself and CBS’s hypocrisy when it came to permitting this ad but not other advocacy spots … but to me, the bigger, yet largely unmentioned, problem was that the Tebow ad was produced by an anti-gay hate group. Seriously. How is that Focus on the Family (I was going to write, Focus on the Fucking Family, but then I realized how odd that would look) can place an ad about anything, on any mainstream media outlet, and nobody mentions their fucked up, like, medieval fucking views on gays and gay rights?!

    Riddle me that, Batman!

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  7. Actually, Dave, one of the most offensive things about that ad is that Tebow's mom did *not* have a choice - abortion was then and is now illegal in the Phillipines (which means her claim that the doctor recommended an abortion is *highly* unlikely).

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  8. Redwood, I’d heard that, too; I guess I meant the way her story is presented in the ad, even if it’s false – that her doctors advised her to abort, but she chose not to. In that sense, it implicitly, if unintentionally, supports the pro-choice position. But you’re absolutely right – it is worse still if it is based on a lie. And so far, nobody seems to have an answer to that point.

    Maybe I should revise my earlier comment to say, among the many reasons I found the ad offensive, I am mystified why no one in the media bothered to mention the fact that FOF is an anti-gay hate group.

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  9. He's quite handsome for a Bible salesman.

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  10. I demand to see Tim Tebow's long-form birth certificate!

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  11. I just noticed the tag "making hand babies." Is that like origami, except you don't fold the paper?

    New thought: do ginger spermatazoans have souls? I'll take my answer offline.

    ++++

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  12. Don't you see what he was trying to get at? Only in the greatest nation on Earth can wimmenfolk be cast aside into their fantastic kitchens full of modern wonders such as microwaves, ovens and faux-marble benchtops.
    In brownpeople countries, they might only have a earth floor & a small fire. *They might not even have a faux-marble benchtop next to the fire!!*
    Erick wasn't being an insulting sexist twat. He was advertising just how good the way of life is for ugly *American* feminists.

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  13. MJS, can you write crib notes on hand babies?

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  14. Dave,

    sing hey, little hand babies
    your future's getting darker
    your darling fleshpot Sarah
    has squashed you with a marker!

    ++++

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  15. Erick looks like "Flounder" from "Animal House", gone horribly, horribly wrong.

    So, Dean Wormser might have said:

    "Fat, stupid and drunk on your own bile is no way to go through life son."

    Anyone want to bet on how many campouts Erick went on before he became the scoutmaster's bitch?

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  16. Is "making hand babies" what the kids are saying today instead of "choking the chicken"?

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  17. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  18. Where's Princess Sparkle Pony and the "hand turkeys" when ya need them.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.