Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender
If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "gen.jc.christian@gmail.com.")Thanks!
Gosh, hearing Hava Nagila in the background made me want to jump to my feet and re-enact 7th grade PE/Folk Dancing. Except then I would have to dance with (redacted). So let's not go there.
I suppose the point the videographer was trying to make was that of course, dinosaurs roamed the earth with man, because they are land animals created on the 6th day. Wow, of course! (smacks forehead). This is why our folklore and ancient history is replete with stories of herding the diplosaurs-o-pods or whatever the hell they were. And if even one little diplopodosaur got lost, the herder would search and search until it was found. Heartwarming.
Or...
the stories from ancient Mesopotamia about the velociraptors and Gilgamesh and the big ol' flood. Man, that was a good one!
My favorite though, was when Jesus rode a gentle triceratops through the gates of Jerusalem. I simply do not understand why all of the four gospels got it wrong and said it was the colt of a donkey. Must have been a mistranslation.
Are you sure that was an ACTUAL Jew in the video? Because the Hebrewslims I've talked to, the really Jewy ones, make a lot more of those throat-clearing sounds when they speak. I'm always afraid they're going to hock a gob at me.
Bukko: we used to spend hours and hours at Chuck E Cheeses playing Hock 'a Gob. I forget the rules but it had something to do with viscosity and thrust.
Gosh, hearing Hava Nagila in the background made me want to jump to my feet and re-enact 7th grade PE/Folk Dancing. Except then I would have to dance with (redacted). So let's not go there.
ReplyDeleteI suppose the point the videographer was trying to make was that of course, dinosaurs roamed the earth with man, because they are land animals created on the 6th day. Wow, of course! (smacks forehead). This is why our folklore and ancient history is replete with stories of herding the diplosaurs-o-pods or whatever the hell they were. And if even one little diplopodosaur got lost, the herder would search and search until it was found. Heartwarming.
Or...
the stories from ancient Mesopotamia about the velociraptors and Gilgamesh and the big ol' flood. Man, that was a good one!
My favorite though, was when Jesus rode a gentle triceratops through the gates of
Jerusalem. I simply do not understand why all of the four gospels got it wrong and said it was the colt of a donkey. Must have been a mistranslation.
Let's play Gotcha with God! I'll start: Gotcha! (lightning, plagues, bad hair). Darn it, God wins again!
ReplyDeletep.s. The Chilean earthquake shortened the length of a day across the world. Chilean Earthquakes are God!
++++
For you kids old enough to remember record players: “I once played Black Sabbath at 78 speed. I saw God, man.”
ReplyDeleteAre you sure that was an ACTUAL Jew in the video? Because the Hebrewslims I've talked to, the really Jewy ones, make a lot more of those throat-clearing sounds when they speak. I'm always afraid they're going to hock a gob at me.
ReplyDeleteBukko: we used to spend hours and hours at Chuck E Cheeses playing Hock 'a Gob. I forget the rules but it had something to do with viscosity and thrust.
ReplyDelete++++
I simply do not understand why all of the four gospels got it wrong and said it was the colt of a donkey. Must have been a mistranslation.
ReplyDeleteDui Attorney