Sacred Heart of Jesus Parish
Dear Father Bill,
I see you're catching a lot of hell for expelling that little girl because her parents are lebanesian homosexualists, but I thought the Archbishop's explanation was perfect--It's a Catholic school, so students' families are required to obey important Catholic teachings.It's a simple concept, really. I'm not sure why people are having a hard time understanding that it's not just about homosexualism, it's about observing the Church's basic beliefs.
Maybe people would understand your policy better if you expelled another student for something other than her parents' homosexualism. Certainly, some of the mothers are taking birth control pills and some of the fathers are putting those little rubber* man-juice collectors on their manfully hard O'Reillys. That's a serious violation of the Church's teachings about contraception. The children should pay for their parents attempt to turn a procreative chore into happy happy fun night at Gomorrahland.
It shouldn't be hard to spot potential violators. Just look for families with four or less kids (more if some of the kids look like a local parish priest) and ask the parents if they use contraception. If they do, kick there kids to the curb and make room for a child of a man with an unsheathed thingy.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
*They say some are made of lamb skin rather than rubber, but I tried one once, and it felt nothing like what it feels like when I jam a lamb on there.
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Unlike the practices of rendition and bombing the crap out of Pakistan whenever we feel like it, this would seem to disprove DADT.
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Most churches are selective about which of their rules they will make their sheep follow. If they didn't there wouldn't be any people there, which is the point of this blog, I guess. Hypocrisy abounds.
ReplyDeleteWith apologies to mjs for uslurping his role as lyrics-meister, I'd like to suggest a theme song for the Gomorrahland theme parks which could be built in dusty basement storage rooms in the basements of Popical churches everywhere:
ReplyDelete(To the tune of the "Tomorrow" song from the musical "Annie," which could be renamed "Fanny" for this usage")
"Gomorrah, Gomorrah,
I love ya, Gomorrah,
You're always,
a ghey AWAAAAAAY!"
Interestingly, Archbishop Caput's site does not have a means to comment. This is in line with the authoritarian one-way communication he apparently favors,
ReplyDeleteI'm okay with expelling kids based on their parents' use of contraception but given the Church's history of endorsing homosexual relationships between it's clergy and children, I don't see how they can kick out a kid for having gay parents.
ReplyDeleteThose silly lebianostrians should have known it's okey dokely if you keep it a secret! It's like the manboy love practiced in all those Church kiddy shelters or procuring gay prozzies for the Vatican or the Popes Nazi uniform ~ that's all fine as long as it's a secret. But when people start asking questions ~ well, de church, she no lika de questions, capice?
ReplyDeleteI don't see how they can kick out a kid for having gay parents.
ReplyDeleteWell, thilly boy, it's because they weren't the RIGHT kind of gay. Not gay in a manly way, eh? As in not the kind of manly brother who would wear a cassock, or oneathose white Popic angelrobes. It makes a school-marn like Father Breastlin shudder when he's confronted with a pair of not-men parents who might be more butchmanly than him. So in an Abrahamanly way, he sacrificed the child!
On a local news broadcast, a boy about 12yo who attends the school stated the following:
ReplyDeleteThis is wrong, they don't care about all the divorced parents do they? That's against the bible too.
Pet peeve....four or "fewer" children...not "less."
ReplyDeleteKeep pointing out the hypocrisy....the younger generation is getting it.