Sacred Heart of Jesus Parish
Dear Father Bill,
I see you're catching a lot of hell for expelling that little girl because her parents are lebanesian homosexualists, but I thought the Archbishop's explanation was perfect--It's a Catholic school, so students' families are required to obey important Catholic teachings.It's a simple concept, really. I'm not sure why people are having a hard time understanding that it's not just about homosexualism, it's about observing the Church's basic beliefs.
Maybe people would understand your policy better if you expelled another student for something other than her parents' homosexualism. Certainly, some of the mothers are taking birth control pills and some of the fathers are putting those little rubber* man-juice collectors on their manfully hard O'Reillys. That's a serious violation of the Church's teachings about contraception. The children should pay for their parents attempt to turn a procreative chore into happy happy fun night at Gomorrahland.
It shouldn't be hard to spot potential violators. Just look for families with four or less kids (more if some of the kids look like a local parish priest) and ask the parents if they use contraception. If they do, kick there kids to the curb and make room for a child of a man with an unsheathed thingy.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
*They say some are made of lamb skin rather than rubber, but I tried one once, and it felt nothing like what it feels like when I jam a lamb on there.
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