Sen. David Vitter
United States Senate
Dear Sen. Vitter,
It's time to come clean. We're pretty sure you're the guy wearing the duck mask in this video (Do not watch at work). The diaper gives you away.
But why? Why would you do such a thing? Why would you beat a naked patriot about the head and shoulders with a silicone dildonic device? Kristopher Sickles of the Hutaree Christian Militia did nothing to you. He was simply trying to facilitate our Lord and Savior's return by inciting a race war. One would think you'd be on board with that.
Why the anger? You do understand that God says nothing about diapers in the Bible, don't you? Sure, Jesus is a bit critical of harlotry, but he seems to enjoy it when a harlot washes his feet with her hair. That's pretty kinky, almost as kinky as your diaper thing. You should be cool with that.
Anyway, I hope you issue an apology to Mr. Sickles. He seems like your kind of conservative Christian crusader. You should be working together.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
Not kidding. This video was made by Kristopher Sickles of the Hutaree Christian Militia. You can learn more about it here.
A helmet tip to cgeye.