United States Senate
Dear Sen. Vitter,
It's time to come clean. We're pretty sure you're the guy wearing the duck mask in this video (Do not watch at work). The diaper gives you away.But why? Why would you do such a thing? Why would you beat a naked patriot about the head and shoulders with a silicone dildonic device? Kristopher Sickles of the Hutaree Christian Militia did nothing to you. He was simply trying to facilitate our Lord and Savior's return by inciting a race war. One would think you'd be on board with that.
Why the anger? You do understand that God says nothing about diapers in the Bible, don't you? Sure, Jesus is a bit critical of harlotry, but he seems to enjoy it when a harlot washes his feet with her hair. That's pretty kinky, almost as kinky as your diaper thing. You should be cool with that.
Anyway, I hope you issue an apology to Mr. Sickles. He seems like your kind of conservative Christian crusader. You should be working together.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
Not kidding. This video was made by Kristopher Sickles of the Hutaree Christian Militia. You can learn more about it here.
A helmet tip to cgeye.
Ode to the Hutaree
ReplyDelete(lyrics are for Lady Gaga)
got a bucket of love
want to spill so i shove
give my baby dutch rubs
give my baby my love
he got the bush on the bush, yeah
he is a master of war
dressing up like a whore
he is a master of war
oh, scar my tattered body no more with your punishing dildo mallet
it's time you got off the farm
i got a naked huckleberry, baby
scar my body no more
don't let the duck head fool you
don't let the duck head win
scar my tattered body no more with your
punishing dildo mallet
i want to play it again
(bridge)
somewhere over the meadow
i will rise
i will take you inside me
all for my jesus christ
got a bucket of love
want to spill so i shove
give my baby dutch rubs
give my baby my love
he got the bush on the bush, yeah
he is a master of war
dressing up like a whore
he is a master of war
oh, scar my tattered body no more with your punishing dildo mallet
it's time you got off the farm
i got a naked huckleberry, baby
scar my body no more
don't let the duck head fool you
don't let the duck head win
scar my tattered body no more with your
punishing dildo mallet
i want to play it again
++++
“Scar my tattered body no more with your punishing dildo mallet”
ReplyDeleteI heard that's what Lady Gaga sings when you play the third track on her album backwards. I just don't know how to spin oneathem CDs in reverse. And I can't even begin to fathom how you'd do it on a downloaded track...
It all makes sense now. Vitter is the evil dildo duck and the gutted guy is our valiant nation injured by health care giveaways! That's why Sickles and the stranger who runs like a girl* couldn't take him to a hospital!
ReplyDeleteThe fart noises are an obvious code, General. I'll get on it right awwy, sir!
*Is it any coincidence that Obama throws like a girl? I think not!
“Scar my tattered body no more with your punishing dildo mallet”
ReplyDeleteI just woke up, and read that headline to say "Scar my tattooed body no more with your punishing dildo mallet" and thought, wow, Planescape: Torment.
I gotta go play that game again, now.