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Thursday, April 08, 2010

The Truth About Justice Sotamayor

Lary Coppola
Editor and Publisher
Kitsap Peninsula Business Journal

Dear Mr. Coppola,

There are many business-oriented newspapers in this state, but yours is the only one I know of that is discerning enough to carry Adele Ferguson's column. That's a shame, because those other papers' readers are missing out on some of the most insightful political commentary available anywhere.

Few columnists have the guts to defend the institution of slavery and bemoan the sorry plight of "top shelf blacks" who were forced into freedom, but Mrs Ferguson does. She is also the only columnist who fully comprehends the threat Somali pirates pose to the Washing State Ferry System.

Sure, sometimes she's wrong, but even then, she rebounds with a column that is invariably a work of pure genius. Such was the case when she admitted that she was wrong when she predicted that Obama would nominate "a black" for his first Supreme Court appointment. Here's what Mrs. Ferguson had to say after he picked Sonia Sotomayor instead:
I was wrong there. I still don’t understand who President Obama was pleasing when he picked a white Jewish woman instead. He didn’t know her. Somebody had to press her case. I’d give anything to know who and the identities of his inner circle.
There's that genius I was writing about. While everyone else slavishly repeated Obama's spin that Sotomayor is an Hispanic Catholic, only Mrs. Ferguson had the guts to inform us that the newest justice is actually a white Jew who was forced onto us by the secret cabal of Jews who control Obama.

As the editor and publisher of a newspaper that carries her column, that kind of reporting must make you very proud.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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10 comments:

  1. Kitsap County represent

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  2. I hear she makes killer gefilte fish tacos.

    ++++

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  3. Mr. mjs, Sir:

    Thank GOD she don't got some Scandahoovifascist relatives in her family tree. If she did she's be makin' lutefisk tacos on rye tortillas.

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  4. Once I got a Norwegian kroner coin in change in Australia. It was about the size of an Aussie 20-cent piece. It was as ominous as the Somali pirate dubloon that Admiral Adele got on the Washington State ferry. I didn't even know about it until I tried to spend it at the local grocer and the Korean clerk rejected it. Wow are those people ever shrewd! I didn't realize it at the time, but it was probably a sign that Vikings were scouting Oz to plan a berserkinvasion. Maybe in league with those Koreans. Then they'd team up with Sotomayorstein and force everyone to eat those lutefisk tacos.

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  5. I had no idea she was still writing her usual trash. Its hard to believe that she was once the legislative reporter for the then Bremerton Sun. She was Sara Palin before there was a Sara Palin.

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  6. Really, I'd heard that she was a shapeshfiting alien war-beast from Arcturus. But, that's just a rumor.

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  7. She was Sara Palin before there was a Sara Palin.

    Then somebody should show Ferguson's current picture to the Teabaggopatriots who think Palin is al hot 'n' MILFy and tell them "This is what Sarah will look like after a few tough years in the Oral Orifice. Is THAT what you want to be seeing on the telescreen every night?"

    Then tell 'em to vote "No" on futurePresidentress Palin in order to preserve her present, stress-free beauty. We must defeat Palin, to help her!

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  8. You seem to be implying that there are no Hispanic Jews out there. I actually know some! Well, wait. I know one. Well, then again I'd better fact check and get back to you.

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  9. You seem to be implying that there are no Hispanic Jews out there.

    I thought we Christians had an Inquisition to take care of that. Quick somebody -- alert His Papishness and fire up the Batmolestobile! Time for Round II!

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  10. I’d give anything to know who and the identities of his inner circle.

    Clearly, these are code words for: "Tell me what I want to hear, and I'll give you what you want..."

    Mrs. Ferguson always was quite the tart in that Navy town of Bremerton. Why, is there a rumor that she got to hear what she wanted from the entire fleet, in her youthful day? Oh! The horror of gossip!

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.