Welcome back to work. I hope you enjoyed the most important summer holiday as much as I did. I reckon I had the best Most Precious Blood of Jesus Day, ever.
Our first stop was Mass. Of course we're not papists, but why should they be the only ones who get to chug down our Savior's immaculate hemoglobin. We figure Jesus' precious blood belongs to everyone, and if we have to go to mass to get a taste, by God we will.
After taking a big swig, I bumped the priest's chalice to spill a few bloody jiggers into a Big Gulp cup I was secretly holding below. OfJoshua did the same and we got enough to keep us in Bloody Jesuses (1 shot Most Precious Blood of Jesus, 2 shots corn liquor, a dash each of ground pork rinds, black pepper, and Tabasco sauce, then fill the glass with tomato juice and garnish with a stick of celery) the rest of the afternoon.
We spent the remainder of the day drinking our Most Precious Blood of Jesus cocktails out on the porch and rebuking our neighbors, and later the police, for murdering babies with contraceptives.
It was a wonderful holiday. I can't wait for the Feast of the Circumcision.
Elsewhere: Brother Marie, "Liberalism: An Evil Defined."