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Sunday, November 14, 2010

Off to the Emerald Sodom

As long time readers know, my wife, OfJoshua--good Christian woman that she is--has been helping, my neighbor, Mr. Garcia, recover from his divorce. It's been very tough for him. He's so lonely. Sometimes, OfJoshua takes her Barry White albums over to his house to cheer him up and ends up spending the night, or even the whole weekend there, because he's just so damned sad.

They're attending some kind of Christian divorce recovery conference in Seattle for the next few days. I told them I'd drive them over to it--Seattle's big enough to be a very wicked city, so they'll need someone trained in weaponry to protect them. And heck, it's been awhile since I've had my sins redeemed by that god-fearing biker-looking guy who spanks naughty men for money. His Great and Terrible Spatula of Redemption is calling my name, telling me it's time to get right with Jesus.

OfJoshua tells me that since I haven't registered for the conference, it's against the rules for me to stay in her motel room. I guess I'll be sleeping in the car. That's OK with me, I couldn't stand to hear Mr. Garcia's blubbering anyway. But, it means I may not be able to post to this here blog, every day. We'll see.

And a big thank you to all of you who voted for my Amazon review of George W Bush's book, Decision Points. You made it "The most helpful favorable review," yesterday. It's dropped a notch since then, because, a lot of "not helpful" votes were casts by patriots who read the review and libislaministofascists who didn't. Still, it has more votes than any other review, so thank you. And a special thanks to John Amato at Crooks and Liars for his help.


  1. Mr. Garcia should be ashamed of himself! Not for the snoring -- for the divorcing. Divorce is the almost-greatest threat to marriage. Next to letting teh gheys get married, of course. But that goes without saying. Except kkkonservatives need to say it as often as possible.

    You don't suppose Mr. Garcia got divorced because of some ghey thing, do you?

  2. I don't know about that, Bukko! With as many times as R leaders have been divorced, remarried and redivorced, it looks like...

    Divorced is the New Married!!

    Family Values! USA!

  3. General, Sir:

    I had not heard that Mr. Garcia was still pinin' for his former wife. I know what that sort of depression is like. I been pinin' for Darla for quite some time now and it makes me do all sorta crazy stuff. Why, just the other day I was in a airport restroom and I had this guy in the next stall, tap dancin' like crazy, ask me if I had toilet paper on my side--I said that I didn't, but fortunately I had a KKKJV Wholly Babble and he was welcome to the pages containing various biblical verses about killin teh GAY. He then asked me if I wanted to go to some cheap motel and get nekkid with him. Of course I turned that one down, you know that "Trick Knee" of mine keeps me from participating in Manly Spartan didn't? Well, you do now.

    Hey, Sir, btw, if you get down over to Pike Place Market, bring me back someathem gooeyduck clams, 'kay?

  4. JCrick -- just as Republikkkan women can be re-virginized when they promise not to have any more hairy sex (see O'Donnell Christine) or any further babies out of wedlock (see Palin, Bristol and futurePalin, Willow) so can Republikkkan men become re-monogamized when they promise to stay with THIS wife forever and ever, amen. That is why Noot is a paragon of Family Values for the third or fourth time.

    Remember, it's only a sin if you're a member of the perverted-D party that's NOT ashamed of that stuff.

  5. I don’t know about that Mr. Garcia, but I hope you have a fine time in Seattle.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.