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Monday, March 07, 2011

Does the Cowboy play Lott?

Rep. Sally Kern
Oklahoma House of Representatives

cc: Maggie Gallagher Srivastav

Dear Rep Kern

Congratulations on writing your first book, The Stoning of Sally Kern. I think it's very fitting you're releasing it on July 5th, 134 years and one day after the founding of our great nation. Can you send me a copy to review?

I suspect the Eureka Springs controversy will be addressed in your book. You took a lot of heat for rebuking that town, the home of Jesus of the Ozarks and the Great Passion Play, for being controlled by homosexualists.

Unfortunately, the rebuke did not bring about change in Eureka Springs. It's become a homosexualist haven. Perhaps it's time for another community to begin competing for those passion play visitor dollars.

I'm thinking you should encourage another existing Christ-center event to move to a small town (perhaps Bethany) in your district. My first thought was that the Hill Cumorah Pageant would be perfect. It's scripted by one of your fellow champions of the heterosexual lifestyle, NOM boardmember Orson Scott Card. But unfortunately, after doing a little more investigation I found it to be a bit too Mormon and much too swarthy for your sensibilities. What would your constituents think?

Then I learned that NOM Chairman of the Board Maggie Gallagher Srivastav has a son who is acting in a production called "Sodom: The Musical." I haven't seen it, but it's obviously biblically based. It also features a famous cowboy who rode ramrod for his village's people. You can't get more family values than that.

I'd be glad to help you attract "Sodom: The Musical" to Bethany. Just send me note (along with your book) if you need me.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot


  1. Sorry to say this, but I've always had a problem with that "Cumorah" thing. Particularly the "cum" part. Strikes me as covertly homosexualist. And when you add "morah," it makes me think of "menorah," which isn't even the right religion. The whole thing brings up visions of candelabras dripping an unmentionable but filthy substance. One more reason why I could never be a Merman.

  2. Bukko, its even worse. Sound it out. It says 'He'll come more ahhhh' Its a bloody porno. Its depraved. Its sneaking little mormon kiddies into drugs and prostitution.
    I read me up on Eureka Springs. Its not only a hovel of homosexuality, but wait... close your eye little ones, they tolerate.... ASTROLOGERS!
    Not content with pushing hard core porn onto kiddies or rip-your-anus-in-twine-bull-buggering homosexuality, they tolerate astrologers.
    Hitler had an astrologer. Dare I say more about these worse than witches and warlock types?
    Oh, they tell us than our Sun in Aries with a Pisces rising is a good thing, but then POW! The holocaust!
    Now I find they are secretly subverting America with their wicked ways. I think even the gays will join us in common hatred. Where was Beck when this threat was brewing? Typical bloody Aquarian.

  3. No one loves a pedant, but
    (a) 2011-1776=235
    (b) "Lot", by convention, unless you're making a joke about Trent.

  4. General;

    Another effort by Patriots-Who-Never-Served to protect us from the homosexualist element of our military: (

    The Center for Military Readiness has set up an anonymous email site so our soldiers can write to congress and complain about having to involuntarily bivouac someone else's Little Soldier(s). If you feel the need to show some support, here's the link.

    Over and Out.

  5. thanks very much i am looking for something like this ask you to transfer this to my website.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.