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Thursday, March 17, 2011

God Damned Demonic Principalities Want Our Pork Rinds

Pastor Rick Joyner of Morningstar Ministries warns us that the Japan earthquake heralds the beginning of an invasion of our homeland. Apparently, what he calls "the demonic principalities that ruled Nazi Germany" are rising up off the coast of Shensi province and heading toward John Wayne's hometown, Weed, California.

You know, once they get a hold of Weed, they'll have to go after our pork rinds.

9 comments:

  1. Where's Hagbard Celine? Have they started singing"Age of Bavaria" yet?

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's not the spirit of the Nazis that's rising -- it's Tojo's Nips!

    Remember how the Empire of the Rising Sun sent all those kamikaze pilots to kill themselves by crashing their planes into American ships? I don't remember it either, but I think I saw a John Wayne movie about it once, so it must be true. And we whupped them by dropping nukes! Those Nipponese have been steamed ever since.

    So under the guise of an earthquake and a tidal wave -- I refuse to use that Japanese word "tsunami" (dammit, they tricked me into doing it right there!)-- the Japs have unleashed the most diabolical atomikaze attack in history, Those murderous Buddhists don't value human life at all, since they think they'll be reincorporated, so they're sacrificing their country just so they can send a cloud of radioactive fallout onto The Duke's birthplace! Is there no end to their evil?!?

    Patriotikkkal Amerikkkans should start demanding that we nuke those nuke plants!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Look, I'm a big fan of prophecy based on the demonic principalities that ruled Nazi Germany. No-one bigger.
    However, this guy is bogus. There is nothing about demonic principalities. He's babbling on about *another* prophecy; the Great Origami Crisis.
    'Things are unfolding right now' Japanese origami is coming apart due to a chunami and a nuclear meltdown. All their paper is wet and radioactive. The Japs are going to call in all the American debt because they need the notes to start origamizing to make swans and paper planes. It'll screw America if this happens.

    ReplyDelete
  4. BC:

    Generally I respect your judgmentalistousness and intelekt but on this you're wrong. Orgasms got nothin' to do with it! I've had several and I never ever feel like messin' with The Sagebrush Duke.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  6. alax (is that short for "alaxative"?):

    We don't need no steenkeen socialmediawhores like you. If you ain't got nothin' snarky to say about the assholezbigots, STFU.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Glenn Beck is not exactly taking the high road either:

    http://madmikesamerica.com/2011/03/nutty-glenn-beck-says-japan-disaster-a-message-from-god/

    ReplyDelete
  8. Democommie,

    These guys are specialists at origamizing their Sagebrush Dukes:
    http://www.puppetryofthepenis.com/
    These demonic souls call them 'Installations'

    NSFW

    ReplyDelete
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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.