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Thursday, May 26, 2011

Dave von Ebers is a God Damned Obamunistofascist

Unfortunately, it's come to my attention that one of our long-time commenters is a stooge for the World-Wide Amish Obama Conspiracy to Force America to Accept the Unrighteously Hued as our Equals (WWAOCFAAUHE). The proof of Mr. von Ebers' treachery lies here, in a post in which he questions a TV station's decision to run an interview with a patriotic Birther-American as balance to the OBAMUNIST USURPER's birth certificate announcement.

That patriot is Rick Biesada, founder of the Chicago Minuteman Project, and as Comrade von Ebers notes, a radio host:
That’s right – Biesada’s radio show on WJJG is called “Perspectives on Our Heritage – The Angry White Male Hour.” Gee, no racial overtones there, eh?
Comrade von Ebers, a pointy-headed, college-trained, bar-approved attorney, took issue with Mr. Biesada’s self-taught legal approach, arrogantly declaring that scholarly interpretations of Article II and the 14th Amendment of the Constitution are somehow more valid than folk interpretations:
Article II says nothing about a president’s parents; it only says that any “natural born Citizen” of the United States (over age 35 and residing in the country for at least fourteen years) is eligible to be president. And while the Constitution, as originally drafted, did not define the term “Citizen,” the Fourteenth Amendment does..
Thankfully, Mr. Biesada has his own forum to promote his ideas. It's called "The Federalist Observer." Proudly Aryan patriots may recall its scathing expose of Alexander Hamilton which begins:
Hamilton was a rat from the get go. His real name was Alexander Levine; the son of a Jew...Alex was groomed at age 15 when he was sent back to Europe from the Isle of Neveus, to be trained in banking by the Bank of England, and the Rothchilds, knowing that he would be Washington’s aid, as Secretary, when the con job was put into place.
Mr. Biesada responded to Comrade von Ebers in the Observer by making the following points:
  • Dave von Ebers looks like an anteater
  • Rick Biesada is not a racist
  • Apostrophes are the most effective element of argument; use them everywhere
  • Rick Biesada works in the "city’s most murderous neighborhood;" everyone there loves him; Dave von Ebers better be careful
  • Obama is a 14th Amendment citizen and is therefore ineligible to be president
That last point is important. It's based on scholarly research conducted back in the nineties by the legal eagles behind the sovereign citizen movement and the Montana Freemen. In essence, only "organic" citizens, those who were afforded citizenship by the original Constitution, are eligible to be president. All others who obtained citizenship through the Fourteenth Amendment are lesser citizens who do not have all of the rights of organic citizens. Here's how Mr. Biesada puts it:
Obama, if born in Hawaii, therefore did not inherit his U.S. Citizenship from his natural parents but rather acquired it by positive law, ie.,the 14th Amendment, or 8 U.S.C. Section 1401 (a), which naturalizes persons who are born in the United States but lack two U.S. citizen parents to be U.S. Citizens at birth, hence, Obama can be a citizen under the 14th Amendment, or 8 U.S.C. Section 1401(a) but he is not an Article II Section, two natural born citizen, as required by our founders as a condition of allegiance.
As for whether Mr. Bethesda is a racist, I prefer to call him a "proudly white" American. Certainly proudly white Stormfront readers and proudly white radio listeners would agree.


  1. Dang it, General. You found me out. If this were a parody site, and if you really were a bleeding heart libislamofascist like me, I would thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support and friendship.

  2. I forgot to add, in the words of Sister Sarah of the Half-Term: Wink.

  3. I always thought that there was something funny going on with that von Ebers fellow. Now WE know!

  4. I left that patriot a comment: Haven't had a response yet.

  5. I enjoyed Not-gay Harley Man's comment about his being interviewed to "balance out" the long form birth certificate release story. Yep, balance out the news..."The sun is coming up tomorrow in the east" could be followed by "...but to balance that story out we have the President of No Eastern Sun Riser Society with an opposing view..."

    Mean people suck. Stupid, mean people suck and drool and then suck the drool.

  6. I've been to that von Anteater's website a few times. It's OK when he sticks to baseball and songs that are not by hippies like Willie Nelson.

    I figgered that the suspiciously librul things that popped up there were the result of his kids ferreting out ol' Dave's password and posting shite as a joke. Or hackers. Happens all the time! I mean, that's why there were all the links to horseporn in my computer history. Or so I told the wife. After enough yelling, she believed me. I think.

    But now, thanks to that Harley-ridin', studly-lookin' (how's TH'AT for u'se of apostrophe'''s, e'h?) patriotikkkal Mr. Biesaxual, I realize that von Ouzo's nothing more than a leeberal who's pretending to be a liberal. Or something like that.

    I propose we put von Ebers''' name in that paragraph that starts with "Hamilton was a rat from the get-go." That'll show him!

    And one more thing, Dave, because I bet you're reading this -- when a manly man (even if his hair is gray and falling out) talks about where you live, and then mentions that he (the manly one) hires his help from the neighbourhood that's the murder capital, he's implying that he knows where you live and might murder you. Or hire somebody else to do it. That might have slipped below your radar detector, son.

    It's a damn shame that these days a patriotikkk Amerikkkan can't come right out and say "I'll kill you because of what you wrote about me." That's how far America has come from having freedom of speech.

  7. General, Sir;
    I've run across Mr. vonEbers (does that name sound 'Merkin to you???) and I think he's not in favor of beating up queers. In fact, I think he's not in favor of calling them queers. Whattup with that? My favorite part of Patriot Biesada's well-reasoned commentary is his use of the phrase: condition of allegiance. I like that so well I think I'll write a pledge about it.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.