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Friday, May 20, 2011

If you play Goldfinger backwards, you'll hear Obama chanting "Turn me on Satan man"

My last post before I'm blogging in Heaven.

The patriotsphere is blessed with a new social networking site. Marketed as the “Social Network of the Revolution,” RTR is gathering some of the greatest minds of the teapartian movement to feed our intelligence needs. Indeed, they've published such explosive investigative reports as "Did Obama steal a dead babies birth certificate," "Congress to vote on legislation official start of World War 3," and "Destruction of the Trade Centers: Occult Symbolism Indicates Enemies Within Our Own Government"

But I'd like to direct you to what I think is the most important report, "Satanism, Rock Music and MK Ultra Mind Control." Chillingly, it begins:
Modern electronic-rock music, inaugurated in the early 1960s, is, and always has been, a joint enterprise of British military intelligence and Satanic cults.
Yes, "M" is actually Lucifer dressed up in a Dame Judi Dench costume.

And the Beatles, well, the bastards pee on nuns:
John [Lennon], each Sunday would stand on the balcony, taunting the churchgoers as they walked to St. Joseph's. He attached a water-filled contraceptive to an effigy of Jesus and hung it out for the churchgoers to see. Once he urinated on the heads of three nuns.
And consort with known homosexualists....
While in Hamburg, in June of 1962 the Beatles received a telegram from their manager, a homosexual named Brian Epstein, who was back in England. "Congratulations," Epstein's message read. "EMI requests a recording session." EMI was one of Europe's largest record producers, and their role in promoting the Beatles would be key in the future.
...known homosexualists from MI-5...
EMI was also a key member of Britain's military intelligence establishment.
...while making dirty fucking hippy drug music...
A few months earlier, the Beatles had released their first album dedicated to the promotion of psychedelic drugs, Sargeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. The album contained a fantasized version of an LSD trip, called "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds", or L.S.D. for short. It became a top seller.
...musical paeans to the Dark One's personal pope:
Clearly, the Beatles' album was dedicated to Satanist Aleister Crowley. It was released 20 years, nearly to the day, after Crowley's death in 1947, and its title song began with the lyrics, "It was twenty years ago today..." The album's cover featured a picture of Crowley.
But, sometimes a great notion can be ruined if one flies over the cuckoo's nest and becomes Cassady, Neal Cassady, bus driver with a license to kill...
The project was run by a joint CIA-British intelligence task force under the code-name MK-Ultra. Part of the project called for the free distribution of 5,000 tablets of LSD through a commune known as Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters...Kesey, a so-called "poet" and convicted drug felon, became famous for driving around California in a painted- up bus with his commune, the Merry Pranksters, distributing LSD-laced Kool Aid to the unsuspecting.
...and puts on a show for Her Satanic Majesty:
The members of the [Monterey Pop Festival] board brought together a network of British intelligence operatives and Satanists. The board of directors included Andrew Oldham (the Rolling Stones manager), the Stones leader Mick Jagger, Beatle Paul McCartney and Phillips' friend, record producer Terry Melcher, the son of Doris Day.
Que Sara Satan OO7! Doris Day's evil double-naught spawn introduces our children to a demon who frequently excuses himself to kiss some guy:
It was the first time that an American audience was exposed to such openly demonic British groups as The Who, and Jimi Hendrix.
But at Woodstock, it gets even worse when a future ice cream flavor begins recruiting terrorists for Her Majesty's Secret Service:
A hippie commune called the Hog Farm, had a special role at Woodstock. The Hog Farm was led by a man nicknamed Wavy Graver, who was a former member of Ken Kesey's MK-Ultra operation, the Merry Pranksters. Communes like the Hog Farm were commonly found in the remote parts of California and served as the breeding grounds for Satanic cults, as well as terrorist groups.
That's it for now. Join us later for Seventies-era tales of Karen Carpenter: Assassin Succubus for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.


  1. That report is obviously worthless because it doesn't have Ted Nugent in it!

    p.s. How much would it cost to found and operate my own social networking/propaganda site?

  2. Have a good flight General! Here's a poem to honor the Big Event:

    you can bet there will be movies in heaven
    and yes, a mini bar as well
    you can eat candy or her girlfriend brandy
    provided they're not both in hell!

    we will see you high up in heaven
    we will be in a stunning red dress
    high heels and a blonde wig
    nothing more, and oh, nothing less

    we will live in heaven with the savior
    and sleep every night on his couch
    but we won't sing much in the morning
    we hear that he is a grouch

    we will joke and laugh at the losers
    who will burn in the brimstone and fire
    yes it's true that we're rather petty
    this kind of shit just gets us higher

    the first couple of months will be terrific
    all of god's jokes will bring out the laughs
    after that it gets kind of murky
    he might get pissed and give us the shaft

    oh, but there will be movies in heaven
    where mostly the westerns will play
    the heroes will ride to the sunset
    unless they decide to go gay, ole!

    heaven is there for the asking
    just nod your head and agree
    you must believe crazy ass stories
    should always be read literally

    if i should arrive up in heaven
    to be with the innermost crowd
    block out from hell all that crying
    knock it off, for crying out loud

    oh, yes, there will be movies in heaven
    there will be a mini bar as well
    you can eat candy or her girlfriend brandy
    provided they're not both in hell!

    Happy Rapturing Everybody!

  3. I think actually Mr Nugent(Teodoro Nugenti) was Italian anti-communist. If he was a real Cali-counterhearstcastledeadhead subversive he wouldn't be in Montana now would he? But there he can guard against the frostbacks sneaking in illegally with bails of hydroponic hindu kush strapped to their snowshoes. This sinister tool of the islamoliberocannanadiana. Now, with conservative victories in Canadiana our state to the north disaffected health-care free-loaders are infiltrating into soft spots in our border to get superior grade Obamacare hip replacements in Duluth and Rochester. Speaking of illegal drugs, canadian Sandoz or elsewise, I think it is a stretch to think that just a few thousand hits could stop start or stall anything. Ask any hippie that is now unknowingly testing out the next generation of mind control drugs not designed for but used for our elders. We wouldn't have it any other way. Art Linkletter was MK Ultra his daughter a message to stay in line.

  4. I was working the midnight shift in the "Quiet Rooms" section (aka "the padded cells") of the psych ward the other night and we had this 18-year-old boy of Asian descent (although he was born in Canada, so he spoke something that almost sounded like American English.) He was having his "first break," a polite term for when budding schizophrenics have their premiere experience of hearing voices and having such bizarre thoughts that they have to be hauled into the ha-ha ward.

    Anyway, when he wasn't laughing maniacally or calling me "Lord Voldemort," this boy was singing songs by the Beatleys. "Let It Be" was a favourite. I guess if you're a young lunatic and your life is starting down that path which will leave you wearing urine-stinky clothes that you got from The Salvation Army as you're picking up cigarette butts so you can squeeze enough tarry tobacco out of 'em to roll yourself a little coffin nail, hearing some British foppet sing "Mother Merry come to me, speaking words of wisdom" sounds pretty good. Sounds better than the voice of some demon telling you to smash the window of the monorail car and leap out as it traverses that high bridge over the Fraser River, eh?

    At one point, I sidled up to the locked steel door and said to the kid "Why are you singing Buggles songs? That's what old people like me listened to. You're a kid. Hasn't anybody made any music that's worth singing since the 1960s? Where are YOUR generation's songs?"

    The kid, in one of his more lucid moments, explained that Beatlos tunes were everywhere, playing on oldies radio, as background noise in stores and elevators, emanating from his parents' MP-3 players, etc. So it's no wonder why he went insane, with all that satanic drug music influencing his brain. It's a good thing he didn't start chanting any rappety-hop music, though, or I woulda hadda call security to hold him and shot him fulla Loxapine. That's a drug that's not satanic; it's soooooooothing.

  5. I thought Mussolini was the Italian anti-communist. I guess, unless you're very careful, you might learn something any day.

  6. See what happens to your brain when you drink too much fluoridated water?

  7. Is it the water, or is it the booze poured on top of the ice cubes made from that water?

  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  9. 5-21-2011--8:00 a.m.: Out here in Oregon God is only rapturing helium balloons. I guess He must really like helium balloons, ergo helium balloons are beloved of God. Amen.

  10. I may have mentioned this before, but I've posted on my blog mp3s of Marty Tinglehoff's series of four poorly-recorded cassettes from the mid-80's titled "Expose on Rock, Soul, and Country Music."

  11. General, Sir and my esteemed FLB's*:

    I wuz held off the internetztoobz by a vengeful Verizoscum for over 36 hours and missed the whole fucking Rapture. I was at a Patty Larkin concert and then watching drunks pogo at a wonderful sort of urban playground in Oswego, NY 'cuz I couldn't do the important work of updating the Rapturistas on when they could expect to have GOD suck up to THEM for a change.

    * Fellow Left Behinder


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.