If you play Goldfinger backwards, you'll hear Obama chanting "Turn me on Satan man"

My last post before I'm blogging in Heaven.

The patriotsphere is blessed with a new social networking site. Marketed as the “Social Network of the Revolution,” RTR is gathering some of the greatest minds of the teapartian movement to feed our intelligence needs. Indeed, they've published such explosive investigative reports as "Did Obama steal a dead babies birth certificate," "Congress to vote on legislation official start of World War 3," and "Destruction of the Trade Centers: Occult Symbolism Indicates Enemies Within Our Own Government"

But I'd like to direct you to what I think is the most important report, "Satanism, Rock Music and MK Ultra Mind Control." Chillingly, it begins:

Modern electronic-rock music, inaugurated in the early 1960s, is, and always has been, a joint enterprise of British military intelligence and Satanic cults.

Yes, "M" is actually Lucifer dressed up in a Dame Judi Dench costume.

And the Beatles, well, the bastards pee on nuns:

John [Lennon], each Sunday would stand on the balcony, taunting the churchgoers as they walked to St. Joseph's. He attached a water-filled contraceptive to an effigy of Jesus and hung it out for the churchgoers to see. Once he urinated on the heads of three nuns.

And consort with known homosexualists....

While in Hamburg, in June of 1962 the Beatles received a telegram from their manager, a homosexual named Brian Epstein, who was back in England. "Congratulations," Epstein's message read. "EMI requests a recording session." EMI was one of Europe's largest record producers, and their role in promoting the Beatles would be key in the future.

...known homosexualists from MI-5...

EMI was also a key member of Britain's military intelligence establishment.

...while making dirty fucking hippy drug music...

A few months earlier, the Beatles had released their first album dedicated to the promotion of psychedelic drugs, Sargeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. The album contained a fantasized version of an LSD trip, called "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds", or L.S.D. for short. It became a top seller.

...musical paeans to the Dark One's personal pope:

Clearly, the Beatles' album was dedicated to Satanist Aleister Crowley. It was released 20 years, nearly to the day, after Crowley's death in 1947, and its title song began with the lyrics, "It was twenty years ago today..." The album's cover featured a picture of Crowley.

But, sometimes a great notion can be ruined if one flies over the cuckoo's nest and becomes Cassady, Neal Cassady, bus driver with a license to kill...

The project was run by a joint CIA-British intelligence task force under the code-name MK-Ultra. Part of the project called for the free distribution of 5,000 tablets of LSD through a commune known as Ken Kesey's Merry Pranksters...Kesey, a so-called "poet" and convicted drug felon, became famous for driving around California in a painted- up bus with his commune, the Merry Pranksters, distributing LSD-laced Kool Aid to the unsuspecting.

...and puts on a show for Her Satanic Majesty:

The members of the [Monterey Pop Festival] board brought together a network of British intelligence operatives and Satanists. The board of directors included Andrew Oldham (the Rolling Stones manager), the Stones leader Mick Jagger, Beatle Paul McCartney and Phillips' friend, record producer Terry Melcher, the son of Doris Day.

Que Sara Satan OO7! Doris Day's evil double-naught spawn introduces our children to a demon who frequently excuses himself to kiss some guy:

It was the first time that an American audience was exposed to such openly demonic British groups as The Who, and Jimi Hendrix.

But at Woodstock, it gets even worse when a future ice cream flavor begins recruiting terrorists for Her Majesty's Secret Service:

A hippie commune called the Hog Farm, had a special role at Woodstock. The Hog Farm was led by a man nicknamed Wavy Graver, who was a former member of Ken Kesey's MK-Ultra operation, the Merry Pranksters. Communes like the Hog Farm were commonly found in the remote parts of California and served as the breeding grounds for Satanic cults, as well as terrorist groups.

That's it for now. Join us later for Seventies-era tales of Karen Carpenter: Assassin Succubus for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.