The Temptation of a Confederate War College Administrator

Correspondence between Col. Walid Nassar, Commander of the Dearborn Militia, and Mark Vogl of the Confederate War College.

From: "Col. Walid, Dearborn Militia"
To: johnyreb43@yahoo.com

The officer corps of the Dearborn Militia is very interested in attending your seminar in East Texas [info here]. The "Introduction to military planning, leadership, and thinking" course sounds very useful.

We are concerned about this part of your announcement:

If you are a Christian, proud to be Southern and looking for a new methodology to improve your business while meeting people who share your Southern pride, this is an event worth booking now.

We are not Christian or Southern, but we share many of your most cherished values. We hate homosexuals, abortion, public schools, unbelievers, immodesty, and people who look and act differently than us. And being from Detroit, we also enjoy NASCAR racing.

We also like your flag. We wear it as a patch on our uniforms, but we say that the diagonal stripes represent the roads to Mecca and Quds and the stars stand for each of the khalifah.

We hope you will allow us to attend as we want to network with Southern Americans. Unlike us, you can go places without attracting suspicion. This is very useful.

Victory,

Col. Walid Nassar
Dearborn Militia

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From: Mark Vogl
To: Col. Walid, Dearborn Militia
Sent: Thursday, March 29, 2012 5:21 AM
Subject: Re: Confederate War College

Sir,

How many officers?

Mark Vogl

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From: "Col. Walid, Dearborn Militia"
To: Mark Vogl
Sent: Thursday, March 29, 2012 8:54 AM
Subject: Re: Confederate War College

Three

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From: Mark Vogl
To: Col. Walid, Dearborn Militia
Sent: Thursday, March 29, 2012 7:51 AM
Subject: Re: Confederate War College

Sir,

The course, as stated not only addresses military planning, but the Confederate Constitution and the Southern movement.

To secure seats would require a six hundred dollar deposit, and the remainder of fifteen hundred dollars (nine hundred dollars) by August 1st. If you decide to cancel attendance, after the deposit is made, the deposit will NOT BE REFUNDED.

If there is insufficient interest to hold the course, the deposit will be refunded.

Mark Vogl

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From: Col. Walid, Dearborn Militia
To: Mark Vogl
Sent: Thursday, March 29, 2012 5:55 PM
Subject: Re: Confederate War College

Will you be providing halal meals, prayer breaks, and explosives?

If we delivered a presentation on the similarities between Sharia and Confederate legal theory, could we get a break on tuition?

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From: "Col. Walid, Dearborn Militia"
To: Mark Vogl
Sent: Monday, April 2, 2012 1:48 PM
Subject: Re: Confederate War College

We have not heard back from you.

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From: Mark Vogl
To: Col. Walid, Dearborn Militia
Sent: Monday, April 02, 2012 11:59 AM
Subject: Re: Confederate War College

Sir,

I dont think this is what you are looking for.

This is a gentleman's course, coat and tie. Nothing outside. And Christian.

Mark johnyreb43@yahoo.com

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From: "Col. Walid, Dearborn Militia"
To: Mark Vogl
Sent: Monday, April 2, 2012 3:52 PM
Subject: Re: Confederate War College

I googled to see what form of tie is appropriate and found a photograph of you wearing the large bow of women. We are not RuPaul. We will not wear the clothes of women. Are there other options?

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From: Mark Vogl
To: Col. Walid, Dearborn Militia
Sent: Monday, April 02, 2012 1:55 PM
Subject: Re: Confederate War College

No.

I will be forwarding your emails to span from hear on.

Previously: Christianist and Islamist Militias Form Alliance