The days leading up to and including the first week of 2013, once again, demonstrated America's well-regulated militia's commitment to responsible gun ownership. Here's a partial list of incidents occurring over the last ten days or so:
- Patriot stands his ground against his own scary-looking arm, shoots it, then applies beer as analgesic to sooth the pain of his bicep's treachery.
- A patriotically liquored-up birthday boy shoots buzzkilling busy-body who attempts to infringe on god-given right to grope random women.
- Real Merakin fends off Jarritos Tamarindo Soda invasion.
- Off-duty police employs lethal force against her own hand after it fails to comply with a lawful order.
- Aspiring future vice-president shoots friend in face with shotgun.
- Man shot in shootout with suspicious-looking new year.
- Duck hunting heartlander refuses to let goddamn rookies stand between him and his quarry.
- Policeman banks submachinegun rounds to drop angry woman in corner pocket.
- A jug of moonshine, a 16 gauge shotgun, and thou.
- Apparently, man responds to his communist knee's attempt to "dialectically materialize me or something."
- Nine-year-old boy celebrates Ted Nugent's Spirit of the Wild by bagging fellow 9-year-old's arm.
- Another scary-looking hand thwarted while pursuing nefarious activities.
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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.