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Thursday, January 12, 2006

Cold Justice

Sen. Sam Brownback
United States Senate

Dear Sen. Brownback,

You've made a lot of progress in your fight to end discrimination against Blastocyst-American citizens. There is certainly less informal discrimination around today--I seldom hear anyone use slurs like "blob" or "goo" anymore. Unfortunately, a more damaging form of bigotry, institutional blastocysism, continues.

A classic example of this kind of discrimination occurred yesterday in Arizona when Candace Dickinson was fined $367 for improper use of a carpool lane. According to CNN, Dickenson told the officer that her use of the carpool lane was legal because she is pregnant, but that didn't dissuade the activist judge from fining her anyway.

Institutional blastocysism will continue to haunt us until the public finally begins to see that Blastocyst-Americans are people too. As a likely presidential candidate in 2008, you're the man who could make that happen. All you need to do is promise to appoint a Blastocyst-American to the Supreme Court. That'll prompt the media to do more feature stories on Blastocyst-Americans and the hard lives they lead. They might even become as popular as white women in danger.

Once you're elected, think about how easy it'll be to get a Blastocyst-American through the nomination process. Just put one of those snowflake babies on the table and it will be the Alito hearings all over again--the Senators can ask questions all day long and they'll never get an answer. The only sound anyone will hear is Wolf Blitzer's praise for the frozen embryo's coolness under fire.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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