A letter from Jeremiel

Mel Gibson
Mel's Musings

Dear Mr. Gibson,

I am an Angel of the Lord (Avenging, First Class). It has come to our attention that you created a bondage/torture/snuff film about my client, Jesus H. Christ.

Under divine Law, the appropriation of Our Lord and Savior's name, non-Semitic likeness, etc., commercially or otherwise, is actionable for up to six plagues and/or a smiting.

I know what you're thinking. "Is it worth a smiting or will I just get plagues?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kind of forgotten what in Christ's name I was supposed to do to you. But being as this is a Smitemaster 5000, the most powerful fiery sword in all of Heaven, and would cleave thee clean in two, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?

To avoid plagues and/or a smiting over this clear violation of Mr. Christ's rights, please cease the distribution of your film immediately and confirm the same to me no later than 5 p.m. tomorrow, PST.

Yours, but not in the ways of Sodom

Jeremiel
Angel of the Lord (Avenging, First Class)

cc: Gen. JC Christian, a patriot who wields a pretty mean Spatula of the Lord. All of the other angels fear him, but in a manly way--well as manly as angels can be.