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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Patriots Speaking Out

Here's what I submitted to "America Speaking Out," the website the GOP created to help them get an idea:

No one respects the law anymore because there are no punishments. Children are denied whippings and criminals are set free because their D&A doesn't have matches. You should set 1 day/month aside for spanking the wicked. Televise it with Rep Patrick McHenry doing the honors. Give him a spatula with little, raised Reagan faces on it so it leaves Gipper welts on the perp's butt. Put McHenry in a gladiator outfit. He'd like it and it'd scare potential sinners.

Here are a few of the other ideas people are posting there:

"We should invent and patent more colors. Like fuchsia, but not that because it's already been invented."

"I think stall doors should be made transparent in the congressional bathrooms to avoid confusion which could lead to wild eyed accusations of foot tapping behaviors. It's bad enough that hairy Rahm Emanuel can get away with chesting our congressmen in the showers. "

"I think that American has given a lot of money to France (ie the French revolution, etc.) and the statue of liberty does not begin to cover it. I mean they made it out of copper - couldn't even spring for silver, you cheap snooty socialists? I think we should make it into pennies and then give them the pennies (we dont want them) and then have them convert that into euros and then back into dollars and then we will be able to buy France."

"I think we should reform our laws to follow the old testament. The new testament is revisionist history."

"We need a congressional task for designated to look for communist symbology within various logos and emblems of corporations, NGO's, and other organizations. It should be funded with the money currently being used for wastewater treatment and stem cell research, since both of these of affronts to god."

And here are a couple the Commie Post found:

End Child Labor Laws," suggests one helpful participant. "We coddle children too much. They need to spend their youth in the factories."

"A 'teacher' told my child in class that dolphins were mammals and not fish! And the same thing about whales! We need TRADITIONAL VALUES in all areas of education. If it swims in the water, it is a FISH. Period! End of Story."

Do you have any ideas for the GOP? If so please post and put a link in the comments.


  1. General, Sir:

    I have an idea. It involves reptilican congress critters and Teabaggists, fire hydrants, astrolube and "Village People" music.

  2. I suggest the James Earl Carter Energy For America Act, which will publicly admit that Jimmy Carter was the last sane President of the United States of America, restore the 55MPH speed limit and install, free of charge, US made solar panels on the roof of every residence in America.

  3. I suggested rendering the homeless into lard to use as biofuels.

  4. Anonymous2:37 PM

    another good one:
    "I know this guy in Nigeria he says he's going to inherit a lot of money, but he needs our help to get it. All we have to do is wire him some cash and in return he'll give us part of the money that he will be inheriting. This would be a good way to balance the national budget deficit."

  5. Anonymous4:31 PM

    I'm can't quit going back to the site. These suggestions make so much sense; I finally understand that the teabaggers DO have all the answers:
    "End all government regulation, business does a great job at policing itself. The BP oil spill was just the free market experimenting with more efficient ways of getting petroleum to thousands of coastal communities."

  6. My favourite comment:

  7. We should make all lesbiengs have their penisses removed. Only men should have penisses. No wonder them women folk are confused. We could so them onto the homo men so they are men again.

  8. I love that site. One of the funniest sites on the web right now.
    It'll be shut down by next Tuesday.

  9. I think that citizens should get a tax cut for each semi-automatic weapon that we purchase.

    And since we need to teach our children about responsible gun ownership, they should be allowed to take their guns to school.

    And any woman who has an abortion, after she gets out of jail, should have to have a big read "A" tattooed on her forehead.

    And homosexuals should not be allowed to vote... where in the Constitution does it say that they have any rights?

    We have to get back to the Founder's Original Intent, and since they clearly intended there to be slavery, tough bananas, Mr. African American. If you don't like it here, here's a one-way ticket back to Africa.

  10. And, oh yeah, I forgot--- Drill, Baby, Drill!

  11. How do you sort the actual teabaggger comments from the tongue in cheek ones? Wouldn't the fact that you can't imply that there are a whole lot of people out there in dire need of some serious medication? Thorazine perhaps?

  12. Oh, this one is priceless:
    "Institute prayer in public schools. Make students bow down to Cthulu, the All Powerful, at the beginning of each school day. God may have put you into this world, but by golly, Cthulu is going to take you out of it!"


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.