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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Girlization of America

Diane Evertsen
Candidate, McHenry County (IL) Council, GOP
Co-Commander, Midwest Minutemen

Dear Mrs. Evertsen,

It's a shame your fear of the tolerance-o-fascists in the McHenry County electorate prompted you to delete your Midwest Minuteman blog. The true citizens of your county need to read your words, so they see what you stand for. They need to hear about the values you hold most dear, values like those expressed here:
Invaders from the Orient, Asia, Africa, Central and South America are invading the first world, and they are intent only upon conquest. [...] Americans have been duped by the left-wing notion of a “proposition nation” and by myths about third-world assimilation, neither of which will occur. Historically, nations have been built upon blood and soil, kith and kin, ancestral rites, and genealogical ties. A real nation is but an extension of a tribe, and this realization should be shared by all traditionalists, conservatives, paleolibertarians, patriotic liberals, union democrats, and moderates. The “creedal nation” (one only has to believe in propositions to be a good citizen) is a lie; it is but a Trojan horse to implement the third-world invasion of America.
The voters also need to see how you've avoided addressing an even greater threat to our nation. Of course, I'm talking about women, or as I call them, not-men. Sure, brown people are assaulting important parts of our culture with their hot chili dishes, danceable music, and sports that remove our Constitutional right to use our hands, but, good God, look what not-men have done to our nation. They've girlized it.

In my father's day, a man could scratch himself or loudy fart in public and no one would give a damn. Try doing either today, and you'll give everyone the vapors. And, of course, our Constitutional right to pee against a wall is completely gone. It went out with Billy Carter.

The thing is that not-men aren't like us. They can't grow cop mustaches. Their breasts aren't hairy. They don't wear mullets. Heck, from what I hear, most don't even have "little soldiers" down there. God dammit, I don't want to live in a nation where half the population isn't man enough to potentially sport a woody.

It just ain't right.

Heterosexually yours, in a chaste, biblical, and very white and manly kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot


  1. She can't help it if her mother had two or three cocktails every night while she was pregnant. Those were different times.

  2. General, Sir:

    I'm looking at that picture and thinking that if Sally Kern sees that gal that it might lead to sumpin, sumpin and knock the both of 'em right out of the GOPurity.

  3. Yes we have teabillies in the Chicago area. Sad, but true.

  4. Calling Dr. Zaius--Dr. Zaius. Calling Dr. Zaius...

  5. "Historically, nations have been built upon blood and soil,
    "Blood and soil"? That sounded a bit familiar, but I thought it sounded better in the original German.

    As one of my role model's once said: "I hate Illinois Nazis"


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.