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Thursday, January 20, 2011

Zsuzsanna's Advice for the Ladies

Mrs. Pastor Steven L. "Zsuzsanna" Anderson answers the question, "Should a wife divorce an abusive husband:"
The only Biblical recourse for a horrible marriage, or any marriage for that matter, is death. If your husband is an abusive, mean, hateful, fill-in-the-blank jerk in spite of you doing your best as a wife, God can kill him whenever He wants to. If he is still alive, God must want you to still be married to him. A wife could pray and fast for her husband/marriage, and for the kids to turn out right in spite of marital problems. If nothing else, it will be a great lesson for the kids, who hopefully will grow up and make wiser and more careful choices regarding their future spouse, rather than learning that marriage can be dissolved at a whim.
Update: Zsuzsanna adds more in her comments section:
God punishes adultery, as well as rape, with the death penalty.
Update II: Another comment:
the same God who said that marriage is until death also said that homos should get the death penalty.
And now for something completely different:

Sister Sarah's Battle Hymn

And a godly graphic from the Free Republic:


  1. I love the fact that Free Republic still uses that geocities-type web design from 1996. Don’t ever change, Freepers. One day, you will impeach Bill Clinton. As God is my witness.

  2. Ooops. I guess as a lawyer I should know they did, in fact, impeach him. I should’ve said: One day you will convict Bill Clinton of … [insert your favorite paranoid right-wing conspiracy here]

  3. Also, God may decide to have your husband murder you with the dual benefit of a) putting you out of your misery and 2) sending you to Heaven to be with God. Sure, that scenario sucks for the kids, but their reward will be in Heaven.

  4. How about if the wife kills the husband and says God did it? I'd like to see some po-leeceman try to haul HIM in for questioning!

    Re: Battle Herrym of the Freepalin -- I heard that played on a leftist talk radio show I monitor for seditious statements. They're not being ironic, are they?

  5. OMG please put a warning up for that youtube song. George Jones and Tammy Wynette couldn't have done that sacred hymn any more damage. Was Alaska with the confederacy?

  6. Wait, weren't a lot of the Founding Father's lawyers? So, technically and factually speaking, shouldn't all these folks singing really bad songs about how much they love Caribou Barbie actually be singing songs about how they love President Obama?

  7. God can kill him whenever He wants to..

    This is exactly why God created Second Amendment remedies.

  8. Why does all this tea-party, country & western, God, The Constitution, Beautiful Sarah Palin, President, "more guns and less government" all have such a cartoony feel to it?

  9. 2 parts:

    I can't think of any humorous angle to a wife so emotionally abused she justifies it through the bible to others. If this were a minor, you'd call the police. Sad & ferked up.

    On the video, I'm mightily impressed by some of the lyrics: 'Sarah has the wisdom to go through an open door.' If only I could gain such insight. I might not get wet when it rains all the time.

  10. Um... is that Grizzly bear bleeding that Palin 2012 thing out of its anus? No wonder it looks so angry.

  11. General, Sir:

    All I can say about the hot new vid is, "Mom, dad. What were you thinking?"

  12. Anybody know
    Where I can karaoke
    And hula to boot?

  13. ZsuZsan Zsuzsanadanna comment actually aren't that far off from the opinions of a few people I know who have been married a long time. I asked one relative at a 50th anniversary party if she had ever considered divorce. She said "Never, murder from time to time, but never divorce"

  14. @ simon - i thought the grizzly was writing in scat, but it IS red, so maybe it's blood.

    also, did the songwriter not realize that the phrase "when hell freezes over" means the thing will never happen? ("when sarah gets to washington, it'll be cold as hell.") or, in the immortal words of arnold rimmer: "and on that day, lister, satan will be skating to work."

  15. @bc - that was indeed a good line about the wisdom it takes to go through an open door. it would be awfully stupid to go through a closed one.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.