Jesus' General

It's hard to resist becoming a homosexual

Dear Dr. Cameron,

I just read a quote of yours that confirmed something I've been saying for years, "The siren call of homosexuality is nearly impossible to resist." I can't describe the joy I feel now that a scientist, like yourself, has confirmed my hypothesis. Thank you.

Yes, it's true that the best sex is man on man sex. I know this, because I've repeatedly faltered in my quest to be a good, God-fearing, manly kind of man. I'm certain that in a moment of weakness, I'll falter again--probably this weekend when I go to picket the homosexual bar. It's hard to resist homosexuality's slick come-ons when you have your fingers wrapped around a stiff piece of hard smooth wood. You get to thinking about other things you could be holding, and before long, some homosexual is putting his little soldier in your mouth.

That doesn't mean that I'm a homosexual. It only means that I had a temporary weakness of spirit. It's not unusual at all for a heterosexual man to find himself sexually gratifying a homosexual or two or five in a such a moment of weakness. Heck, you could do it with seventeen guys in the space of an hour and still be a heterosexual, right? That's OK isn't it? How about if you pay the last one to spank you as punishment for your sins? You'd still be a heterosexual, wouldn't you?

The attraction of homosexuality s so strong that it's very hard for a man to resist surrendering to it completely. The only way I've found to do it is to remember that the fires of Hell are the ultimate destination for those who capitulate. They will be sodomized by Satan's servants for all eterni...uh...hmmmm...uh, there must be a better way for me to resist temptation. Do you have a suggestion? Please get back to me as soon as possible.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen JC Christian. Patriot