Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Monday, May 03, 2004

Hazing Sean Hannity

Dear Mr. Ailes,

Sean Hannity's interview of former School of the Americas interrogation instructor Tony Robinson was great. I'm worried, however, that the public isn't embracing his description of the treatment of Iraqi POWs as being less harsh than a frat hazing. The American people don't understand this because they can't identify with Iraqi POWs. They need to see Americans they know and respect undergoing the same kind of hazing. Then, they'll see it for the harmless fun it is.

I think you can make this happen. You can do so by reenacting the Abu Ghraib POW hazing on Hannity & Colmes or a Fox News Special. I'll gladly volunteer to masturbate into Sean Hannity's mouth. I'd consider it my contribution to the war effort. Afterwards, we could all go to my house for a night of pizza, beer, and gladiator movies.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.