This whole free elections thing is overrated anyway

Dear Pastor Soaries,

I've been following your preparations for suspending elections with great interest, particularly now that it seems like Our Leader is incapable of breaking the 50 percent mark in the polls. Voting may be a right in this country, but with rights come responsibilities. If the People cannot be responsible for voting correctly, it is up to fine, Godly men like yourself to protect them from themselves.

I understand that you have a tough sell. I'm sure there are many who have pointed out that elections have never been suspended before, not even during the Civil War when our very existence as a nation was in danger. These people fail to understand the nature of the threat today. Certainly, Osama bin Laden's minions pose a greater danger to the Union than the armies of the Confederacy ever did.

One way to counter the opposition would be to make the conditions triggering the suspensions very specific--like only when the Capitol Building is burned down. I'm sure that if the "terrorists" saw that Our Leader was trailing in the polls, they'd burn down that great symbol of capitalism. Then, we could blame it on their fellow travelers, the liberals, and round all their leaders up. I'd be glad to help out if you can get me a cool uniform--I look great in brown.

After we've dealt with them, you could turn us loose against shops owned by liberals. Why should they be allowed to make a living when they are undermining the Homeland's security?

I'm always available to be fitted for a uniform. Just drop me a note.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot