Leader Wolf was only pretending to follow along as the cub pack interpreted signs on the trail. The truth was that he didn't know the difference between prints and spoor. His ignorance in this area caused him much embarrassment, such things being the most elementary elements of wolf knowledge. So he pretended to follow along as he daydreamed about other things like being chosen for Pack Leader, his favorite reality show where she-wolves competed with each other for the attention of the alpha male.
Lost in his dreams of popular stardom, Leader Wolf almost missed what his assistant whispered into his ear. A great tragedy had occurred at Grandma's House. Woody Wolf, Pack Leader's greatest star, had been murdered by a woodcutter. All of Wolf Land was in a state of shock. WNN had gone to wall to wall coverage. Wolves throughout the forest were watching Wolf Schlitzer as he showed tapes of Woody Wolf's greatest moments on Pack Leader while doing voice-over interviews with axe experts.
Leader Wolf didn't know what to do. He looked toward his aides, but they offered no clues. He shifted his gaze toward the eagles. They were whispering to each other and staring intently at him. They knew!
He couldn't just stand there. He had to act. Resolutely, he lifted his tail, which he had unconsciously allowed to curl between his legs, and trotted over to a rock and sniffed it as if he had found trail sign. A few minutes later, he moved over to a bush and did the same. More minutes passed like this with Leader Wolf putting on the appearance of being occupied in a tracking exercise while inside an intense panic was threatening to overcome him.
Thankfully, the cub leader finally howled that the exercise was complete and Wolf Leader was spared the chore of deciding what object to sniff next. As the cubs formed up around their instructer, Wolf Leader and his aids thanked them for sharing their class and then trotted off until they were out of sight of the Eagles and cubs. Then they entered into head long run, wildly scrambling for the safety of a hollow log they had passed earlier that day. Once inside, they took stock of the situation and began to plan.
Am I in danger," Leader Wolf asked worriedly.
"We don't know," replied his beta mate, Condy, "the wood chopper could be looking for you. That little girl who was with him is said to hate big ears."
"What can we do to stop him," Leader wondered allowed.
"I have a plan," chimed in Wolfowhip, "we put one together at The Project for a New Wolf Millenium before you became leader. Just say the word and we can knock down Putrid Pig's house tomorrow."
"Putrid Pig?" Token Wolfe asked, "he has nothing to do with the the wood cutter. He isn't even the scariest pig out there--Kim Pig-il has a wolf stomper and Persian Pig is said to be building one. Putrid is the wrong..."
"We'll never get the woodcutter," Rumpled Wolf interrupted, "he's a hero to the humans--they'll hide him." "We need a quick, decisive victory to show the wolves that we deserve to be in charge," he continued, "and toppling Putrid's house will give it to us."
Leader liked the idea. Putrid Pig was his father's nemeses. Toppling his house would elevate Leader in the eyes of wolves everywhere, but more importantly, it would establish his place as the alpha male in his own family. He would be his clan's Pack Leader.
Next Week: Part II, Wolves at War
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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.